Were Promised

This is probably the corniest s**t I've ever written. I'm wanting to know what you guys think so far though. It's song lyrics, and my first attempt at writing ACTUAL lyrics now that I think about it.

You cut me past the corner,

And glanced an eye at me.

As if the wind just blew,

I knew that you

Were the one to be.

But you ran across the courtyard,

And rolled within the grass.

If summer's heat

Would kill the beat

I'd let this time fly past.

--

You were promised,

To the love of someone else.

You were promised,

Despite the way you felt.

And you were content,

--"Content"s all you knew--

Though if I had the chance,

You would accept my glance

And you'd know

How much I loved you.

--

We're all lost in time,

And we've both moved on.

(To be continued)

Author's Note

If you think it's crap, just tell me. I won't get mad. Because I may submit them, and anyone in the business is going to be a lot more harsh. Be blunt. And thanks for reading!

Reviews

[Korin]

These feel like songs lyrics to me. are you an artist?

[Christoph Poe]

I write music, background music for movie settings mostly, classical, etc. but never anything with lyrics. This was my first attempt at writing lyrics for a song, and I never finished it.

[Korin]

You should finish it if it is your first.

[Peach]

I feel the message. It's really touching. I was able to imagine the plot and theme. Great work man!

[Christoph Poe]

Yeah, I never finished this one either but thank you for your reviews! I appreciate your time. :)

[Aethereal]

It needs more work, but you have a good theme going for you here whereby there are different levels of contentment.

We never miss the joys; never tasted.
We never miss hours, that we've wasted.

[Ruth]

Not crap at all and I can hear a nice acoustic to this, some twelve string here and there and choir with some percussion, like it :) Heartfelt, pleased to meet you x

[Kaitlyn]

Not crap at all!

I really enjoyed reading this, and I look forward to reading the next part of it. :)

[Hinoto]

I like this poem. Its very good.

[Sami Khalil]

And continue writing too ....:)...........

[Christoph Poe]

I still haven't had the minute to finish it, but it seems like people are liking it. I'll get on it soon!

[Sami Khalil]

K. You are welcome...:)..............