"The Way You Lie"

This is probably one of my more graphic pieces. No, it's not a personal experience. Just things I've seen and exaggerated through my writing. Keep in mind the language is very strong before reading.

I tied her to the bed,

And set the house on fire.

--I watched it burn--

The evening smiled

To an orange sun,

A ball of fire near the horizon.

That's when she said to me:

"You've been talking to her,

"Haven't you?"

Our home sat at a hilltop

Overlooking a valley of the wild.

Only six months passed

Since our daughter disappeared

In the hands of DHR.

"I haven't seen her in years,"

I told her

In a oil stained white shirt,

Icy water rushing across my hands.

"I don't know why you do it?"

The damp rag slapped the sink

"God damn, I haven't talked to her!"

She flinched

With wet

Eyes.

She sat in a chair

At the dinner table,

Unclean plates stacked from

The nights before.

"You've been talking to her,"

Her focus fell on nothing.

"I'm not blind."

"I don't know

"What else you expect me

"To say."

She whimpered,

Her mouth hesitant to speak,

However, she spoke:

"I know it,"

She whispered,

"You still hide it."

I cut her

Off.

"--Why do you think this?

"Why

"In the f**k

"Must you think I'm

"Always up to no good?"

Her stare repulsed me.

"I'm so sick of your s**t,"

Her words lacked all emotion

Except the one:

Hate.

A chair flew across the room,

By my hands.

"That's perfectly fine,"

The must of my breath

In her face.

"I've been sick of this s**t

"For the last year."

The palm of her hand

Met my sandpaper cheek.

My arm swept across the table

As she backed in her chair,

The red under her eyes growing

As plates crumbled against the floor.

"F**k this,

"You've been so damn worried

"About me.

"So damn wrapped up in my doings--"

My fingers clenched her jawline,

The anger rising in the

Grit if her teeth.

"--that you forget we have a daughter,

"And you don't even know

"Where the f**k she is?"

Her eyes met with mine,

Her muscles tensing under my fingers.

"You let them take her,"

She mumbled.

"You son of a b***h."

She spit.

My arm swung her to the floor,

Her head striking the wall.

"I did NOTHING."

She pulled herself from the floor,

"You did it all."

My arms shook

As I pinned her to the corner

Of the now dented wall.

"I'm sick--"

--I grabbed her jaw--

"Of everything

"You have put me through..."

The hate grew

Like the rising tide.

"It's always my fault,"

I squeezed her.

"I love the way you lie

To yourself," I told her.

She screamed,

Her hands scratching my wrists,

Her legs kicking my knees.

"I hate the way you lie,"

She grumbled and fought.




(To be continued)

Author's Note

If you think this should be rated as "mature", feel free to tell me. I'm a bit unsure if I should place it there or not considering its only language and violence.

And I'm not entirely sure where I'm wanting to go with this? This is my first attempt at anything even comparable, so any thoughts are welcomed.

Reviews

[Peach]

I'm 13 but I don't really care about the language. The message is really haunting but beautiful in it's own way.

[Frieda P]

Riveting read, I felt as though I could see this scene playing out right before my eyes. You had me with the first few lines, they grab you by the throat and you have no choice but to continue on...

[Shirlena]

It is very well written but I do think it should be under mature... it's really up to you. I don't usually read material with this much profanity in it but it certainly doesn't take away from the skill in which you wrote it with and it's a little violent so with all those traits there should probably be some type of warning. I'll find something a lil milder if you have such a write :).

[Christoph Poe]

I think someone told me to take the mature rating off because they didn't think it needed it. I believe I originally had it turned on. Regardless, I do have the language and violence parts mentioned in the authors notes just below the title. I hope you didn't find this offensive, and I will happily go edit the mature rating back on this piece. :)

(This is probably my only violent piece by the way. I don't typically write like this. Lol.)

Thank you for reading!

[Shirlena]

No, I think you should do what you want to do...it was just a suggestion...don't normally give opinions are suggestions unless some ask. I'm good either way smile:) It's very good writing and your welcome it was my pleasure.

[shaimenne]

I guess though it contained a lil mature stuff,you wrote this completely well..it went smooth

[Christoph Poe]

Thank you! I really need to finish it. :/

[Christoph Poe]

(I just realized that I never came back to finish it too. Lol.)

[shaimenne]

oh okay :D yet it went like a play

[Pryde Foltz]

I don't think it needs a mature rating but you could warn the reader in the head that it contains violence.

That our of the way what an excellent poem/play; it felt theatrical. I was riveted. I loved the way you broke up the flow; it left me with a great deal of apprehensive of what was coming next and created double meanings. Pretty damn fine scene you've written.

[aria]

A story/poem inspired by the Eminem and Rihanna song. Interesting. It has some very real feeling rage in it. Compelling.

[Cory Firestine]

I love the emotion you brought through this poem, how things can escalate so quickly when people get angry. I was a little bummed when I got to the finish, because I feel like this is an unfinished story. You gave us a quick history, which I appreciate in a piece like this, but I want to know what happens, which I believe is the point in great storytelling like it. Great work Christoph, really great!

[Christoph Poe]

Thanks man! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I should be able to finish it tonight. I apologize that it isn't finished. (That's why I included to "to be continued" part neart the end.) But thank you again. :)

[Cory Firestine]

Can't wait to read the conclusion.

[Sam]

Very Very nice! I love the raw emotion you show here. The life you give these two very unknown characters. You dazzle the paper with your pen whenever you write. Thank you for sharing this can't wait to see what comes of it.

[Christoph Poe]

Thank you for your compliments--again. :) It's nice to see someone coming back again and again enjoying my work.

[Sam]

And I always will. Your work is priceless my friend.