The crappiest story you'll ever read

(There's a bit of cussing. Nothing passed s/!# though. Lol

Once upon a time, a toad lived in a shoe not far outside of town. The sole of the shoe sat in mud, but it was okay. He liked the mud. He was a toad.

A cat lived in a box on the other side of town. With his yellow fur, he wooed all the lady cats. They meowed his name every time he passed by strutting his s**t: "Meow meow meow!" (How the hell do I know what they're saying?)

And when he didn't give them what they wanted, they cursed him: "MEOW MEOW MEOW!" (Did you expect me to translate again?)

He went back to his box, and slept the day away, waiting for nightfall to come.

A human boy was waltzing passed a stone bridge. He whistled an annoying tune--his lips puckered between his overly fat cheeks. He skipped, and tripped.

"Oh damn!" he yelled. "I am falling in to the mud!"

Then, he fell in the mud. The frog began laughing at him, and pointed, and made fun of him. "CROAK CROAK CROAK!" (Did you really think I was going to translate the frog when I didn't the cat? O.o)

The boys fat cheeks grew red, and the mud quickly dried and crumbled off. Steam shot out of his ears. "Toad, I will smash you!"

The toads eyes shrunk, and he hopped away into the marsh. The boy searched and searched, but could not find him anywhere, so he shrugged, and went on about his business.

Then the boy tripped over a shoe. He picked up the shoe, and brushed the mud off of the bottom.

Poor toad's bony legs trembled in fear, as he hid near the toe end of the shoe.

The boy smiled while holding the sneaker, and said: "Hey, this looks my papa will like this!"

So the boy ran home, swinging the shoe uncontrollably. Toad was drunk by the time the boy made it home.

"Papa!" The boy shouted. "Look at this shoe I found! I thought you might like it."

The one legged man held up his right leg, and looked at the shoe. "BOY! THAT'S A LEFT FOOTED SHOE!"

And he beat the s**t out of he boy with his wooden leg. Literally, the boy s**t on himself, then the boy put his s****y drawers later that night under his papa's pillow.

The papa threw the shoe out the window, and the cat was strutting his s**t once again. The shoe hit the cat in the head. The cat roared in pain: "MEOW MEOW MEOW!"

Then the frog came out if the shoe drunk as a mofo, and the cat yelled at the frog: " MEOW MEOW MEOW!"

"Croak croak croak."

"Meow?"

"Croak croak dam croak."

"Meow."

"Croak?????"

The cat ate the frog.

Then the papa threw the boy out the window because the boy put his s****y drawers under his pillow. The boy landed on top of the cat, and the cat died too.

Author's Note

What's the moral of the story?

Reviews

[writer in trial]

I enjoyed this. :D
Moral is s****y things may relax you or take you to height for sometime but not forever.

[Christoph Poe]

Haha, one thing is inevitable, and that's s**t. Thanks for reading! :D Glad you enjoyed it.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

Moral, huh...well...if you're annoying (or an a-hole) you're going to either get the crap beat out of you, "s****y drawers" under your pillow, or you're going to die...? Am I close? :_ Seriously, though...this was funny as "s**t".

[Christoph Poe]

I don't really think there was a moral. S****y pants under your pillow have gotta suck though. I'd be pretty pissed. XD

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I agree...and so would be being eaten by a cat...that would not be fun, and mine stares at me sometimes with those "i'm going to kill you eyes"...

[Vicky Carter]

Let me try this again. I thought the story was funny and cleaver. Moral of the story...what goes around comes around...and sooner or later we all step in s**t!

[Christoph Poe]

Haha, sooner or later, we WILL step in s**t. Whether its dog s**t, or metaphorical s**t. Haha. Glad you liked it. (I apologize for forgetting to respond to your other review!)

[Lukie LeDoux]

That was freaking hilarious! It had me rolling. 4.5 muddy shoes out of five soiled pants.

[Christoph Poe]

LOL! Thanks. It was intended for a good laugh.

[KaylaScarlett]

What a touching piece of work. I could almost see myself as the boy putting my s**t filled underwear under my father's pillow. Truly inspirational to us all.

[Christoph Poe]

LMAO! I hope you're joking. XD

[KaylaScarlett]

Yes, lol but I did enjoy the story.