As You Ask Yourself Why You're Still Living

This one's for you, Dwayne. Please-don't fear me.

Restless

Against the eleven paling candescent moons

Taunting your future;

A foreshadow of thought seated across from

His side of reason,

Shaking hands, making blueprints of their fingernails.

Glorious and beastly, such a feast

Of expressionless figures,

Backhanded and crowded

Between anxious smiles and hardened hearts;

As you ache to say

The few precious words

Beating delightfully against your mother’s busted windowpane.

My one tin soldier, broken leg and shattered dreams

You lay impossible,

impossibly far from me.

Author's Note

Keep it honest, keep it real.

Reviews

[.........]

I am absolutely blown away by this one. You had an absolute transformation in your writing. I really like the last two lines, definitely the best part. "You lay impossible, impossibly far from me." I don't even know how or where to begin. "My one tin soldier, broken leg and shattered dreams." I absolutely love this, and the most amazing feeling is wondering exactly what the meaning is. "Restless Against the eleven paling candescent moons Taunting your future." Oh, where to begin. Keep writing!

[Emily B]

pleased to have been invited here, looking forward to reading more of your work real soon!

[shythatway]

I hope D was a keeper, because this.. this was excellent :) Blueprints, windowpane and shattered dreams. (Impossible isn't always what it seems. Luckily.) I related the eleven moons to emotional theory, but that was probably far off.. Anyway, wonderful job :)

[Warren L.G De Mills]

This was so good in so few words you have painted such a wonderful portrait. Amazing poem. good job!

[Caitlynxoxo]

WOW. I really don't think i have ever read anything like this. It was just...wow :) I don't even now how to describe it, and I'm sorry I didn't read it sooner, because this blew me away. The words you used, and the descriptions... It was all just so amazing! And I applaud your ability to write such powerful poems in a few short lines. It was amazing, really well done :)

xoxo Caitlyn xoxo

[livinglifeloud]

This is amazing. I love the line about the tin soldier. This has so much emotion packed within it but you handle it carefully and skillfully.

[What happened to simple..]

I'm with Meg and DreamDeamon. This is so well crafted; it ran over slow as I read it (in a very good way), very reflective and with an almost philosophical feel. I really loved it =) thanks!

oh, and 'mother's busted windowpane' LOVE!!

[*~DreamDeamon~*]

interseting.. im speehless