The Boy Whom Realized

I was really depressed one night, couldn't sleep, and worked on this for 2 hours.

There is a boy. He thinks he has such a horrible life. He has just turned 13. He has

more to learn. He hasn't realized the true horrors of this so called life. He is about to

enter middle school. He was always told it was a turning point, and it is. He gets to

see how much worse life can get. How much more drama it entitles. The feeling of a

race, trying to get the girl of your dreams

He has yet to figure out the worst part. That everyone is a selfish a*****e. That there

are few and far between who aren't. Who honestly feels the need to be different.

Whom sees the world through the loneliest of eyes. Who wants to be known. But,

we all know how that works out. He will just be shunned, told to die, and end up

crying.

It is his first day of middle school. He sees all the girls and guys. He realizes some

are different. That, others have hair, and others don't. He feels out of place. He

thinks he is weird for not having facial hair yet. He worries that he won't fit in.

He gets to know his teachers. He is constantly worried of which title will he be

called. Will he be the nerd, the teacher's pet, or the class clown? He has yet to

figure it out. But, before he can choose, he is the teacher's pet. The teacher makes

him pass out papers. He feels odd, he didn't want to. Yet, she made him.

This, is the beginning. He has noticed, life isn't what TV made it out to be. You

don't get any breaks, and you don't chose your fate. He finds out the hard way, like

most must. You are placed with titles, whether you like it or not. You can't change

this, you must merely live with it.

He later notices, all the girls are different. Some have bigger b***s, others yet to

develop. He notices "the girl", the one all crush. He tries to impress her by being her

friend. But, she uses him to better her grade. She leads him on, so he feels like "the

one".

This is the time, when he has more responsibilities. He must walk to school. He

must realize not everyone is there for him. But, he also comes to the realization,

neither are his parents. They only care for him to say "I had a kid". They never really

wanted him, he was a mere accident. They were against abortion, and thus Juan

was born.

He realizes how petty hating life was before. But, my oh my, more is to come. He

has yet to enter 7th grade, wait until 9th grade. In 9th grade he came to the

realization that there are "groups" in society. There are the nerds,the Goths, the

jocks,the ravers, and many more. He doesn't fit in any and thus creates a loner

group.

This is when he sees life in a different aspect. He realizes whilst making a loner

group, you may no longer call yourselves loners, as of now you, you are no longer

the “loners”. "Whom do you call this group?" He wondered. Suddenly, the loner

group is renamed the outcast, and socially unfit group.

Within his group, he realizes yet again, people are quickly named something. He

realizes there is the nerd of them all, the one who is constantly heart broken, and the

one who is the attention w***e. He doesn't know whom he is, so he proclaims he is

the leader. He is the one to turn to when s**t gets deep.

They turn to him, yet he has no clue. What is he to do. He turns to God, but he than

awaits the inevitable. The constant thoughts of there being a God. Whom is he to

decide with? His parents are hardcore Christians and force him to be Christian. Yet,

he feels the need to be different. Does he really believe in the fact of no God, or

does he just want to be a rebel.

He cannot make up his mind, yet he is forced to. If he goes with his parents, he

won't be ridiculed. But, if he does, he feels small and insecure, because he knows

deep down he is not a unique individual. He is hurried, he can't make up his mind.

He Asks God, but the thoughts come back. He can't await the instant gratification,

he chooses. He is now looked down upon by many for his beliefs. The belief in the

non-existence of a God.

Once more he thinks, “How much more can i hate my life?” This, is when he

realizes that around every corner, there is a disappointment. He begins to cry, he

realizes life sucks, and wonders whom we are.

He was always told "stay drug free", yet he doesn't listen. He thinks "Why should I,

they already disowned me, they can't hate me anymore" So, it begins. He starts with

that first hit of weed. He doesn't see now, but it leads to other things. He doesn't

care anymore, what does he have to lose?

The weed leads to petty laughing gas, he knows it doesn't hurt his brain, yet it lasts

for a few. He wants a longer high, but is scared. His friends urge him on, say just

once, what's the worst? He can't take it anymore, he goes with it. He is gone, no

longer sober.

It began with weed, the gateway drug. He never believed his parents, fore they are

liars. But, it is a mere truth, but they incoherently lead him to it. They forced it so

deep down, they told him everyday. What did they expect, he is a teenager. They

are in at the age of denial, and rebellion. They don't know what to do, and give up

on him, as they did once before.

He goes onto shrooms, he loves the high. He is finally able to escape this so called

life. This miserable hell, this waste of time. He knows you can't become chemically

addicted, yet he didn't factor in the mental addiction. The escaping of life, the ending

of ever having a wife

He can't stop, he loses his job. His friends disown him and his parents kick him out.

Whom does he have now, and he realizes... There is God. He turns to God, or

should I say the church. He explains to them his dilemma, and they help. They honestly think they can help, but, they are only worsening the issues. They provide him with a job, which he takes. He moves in with one of his buddys'

The cycle restarts, but it is worse. He no longer has a mental addiction. He is

mentally and chemically addicted to Meth. He would do anything to get a hit, he

would hurt his family. And, so he does. He robs them of their belongings in which

used to be his. He realizes that he is no longer loved, and won't ever be.

But, he can't stop. He goes, and goes. He doesn't know when to stop. He is doing

it more and more. Thinking "One more hit... It can't do s**t.... It's a bunch of lies......

Right guys?" He takes that one extra hit, he goes into a coma.

His friends freak out, they have no idea what to do. They don't want him to go to

jail for use of Crystal Meth. They don't see why he should. They should help him,

but, instead.. They leave him. His parents try to ring him, no answer. They begin to

worry, they freak out. They ask his friends, and find him 14 hours later.

His friends had dragged him down an alley, left there with his belongings. Needle

still in his arm, no clothes to be seen. They are in shock, they call 911. Tears are

shed, they feel as if they have failed. They realize that maybe abortion would of

been best.

The sounds of the ambulance. The curious citizens come out, they stand, and

wonder why. They ask who's parents would allow this, the parent's can't take it

anymore, they leave to the hospital.

They sit there for what seems likes ages, the doctor comes out. He proclaims that

their son is alright. Tensions are lowered, tears of joy run down their pale faces.

They walk into the room, they see their son. He is alive and well, but than... His

heart beats being to become sparatic. The heart beats start slowing. Mom and Dad

begin to cry, the doctors rush in, they don't know how to fix it.

It is too late, he has died. They search among his belongings, they see a note and a

needle stuck to it, the needle says "Heroin"

The note says:

To those who read

You no longer must fear

I knew my life was nothing

And it would never be something

I didn't want to ruin other's

Why should they bother

I had become a lost cause

Whom disobeyed his boss

I am sorry mom and dad

I am sorry i got into this fad

I know this will hurt you

But you must know, i am no longer blue

My life is over

Reviews

[Looouise]

"That everyone is a selfish a*****e." That would read better as "That everyone is selfish." Because the way you've written it implies that one person in the subject, even though you've used the word 'everyone.' Or, if you want to keep the whole 'a*****e' aspect, you could write it like, "That people are selfish a******s."

"Who honestly feels the need to be different.
Whom sees the world through the loneliest of eyes. Who wants to be known." These lines should end with question marks, because you are asking questions in them.

"He is constantly worried of which title will he be called." - You just need to rearrange some of the words in here to make it make sense. "of which title he will be called."

"He notices "the girl", the one all crush" - while it is clear what the sentence means, you need to write it out more. "He notices 'the girl,' the one all of the boys crush on," could possibly work. Just read it out to yourself and you'll see what I mean - it just sounds incomplete.

"This is the time, when he has more responsibilities." - You don't need that comma in there, the sentence flows better without it.

"Whom do you call this group?" - What do, not whom.

"He doesn't know whom he is" - who

"They turn to him, yet he has no clue. What is he to do." - I read the first line and it first, it really sounded like a contradiction. Because, in the previous paragraph, you say that he proclaimed himself the leader, then when you read that line up there, it sounds as if the group chose him as their leader, and he had no idea. However, I realised that wasn't what you meant. So, I think where you've got the full stop between those sentences, you should actually use a comma and say something like, "They turn to him, yet he has no clue what to say or do."

"but he than awaits" - then

"Whom is he to decide with?" - The correct use of 'whom' would be used like this: "With whom is he to decide with?" However, I don't know if your use of the word 'decide' is appropriate for what you're trying to say. Possibly, "With whom is he to side with?"

"Does he really believe in the fact of no God, or does he just want to be a rebel." - end this with a question mark because a question is being posed.

"He Asks" - asks

"Once more he thinks, “How much more can i hate my life?” This, is when he" - needs to be edited like this:
Once more he thinks, "how much more can I hate my life?" This is when he....

"and wonders whom we are." - who

"He thinks "Why" - He thinks, "why

"he knows it doesn't hurt his brain, yet it lasts for a few." - Read this sentence aloud to yourself and see what you think. You first mention that the laughing gas doesn't hurt his brain then you go on to say, "it lasts for a few." You've used 'yet' as if the sentence is meant to follow the same tracks. It doesn't. I suggest it may be better to have a full stop after brain, and then make a new sentence stating how long the effects last for.

" incoherently lead him to it." - led, because the previous and following lines suggest past tense.

"They are in at the age of denial" - They are in or; They are at

"Whom does he have now," - Who does he have now? And then

"but, they are only worsening the issues." - You don't need that comma.

"He no longer has a mental addiction. He is mentally and chemically addicted to Meth." - By saying that he no longer has a mental addiction, you make the next sentence seem off. Instead, you could say something along the lines of, "He no longer only has a mental addiction, he is now mentally and chemically addicted to Meth."

"He robs them of their belongings in which used to be his." - belongings which

"but, instead.. They leave him." - but instead, they leave him.

"abortion would of been best." - would have. I don't think I can take this line seriously, because I can hardly imagine parents looking at their son in a coma thinking that abortion would have been the best decision all those years ago. Because, you've written concern into their characters...with the mere fact that they went out to find him. That kind of means that they care, and they would be crouching around him, crying, trying to revive him or something.

"The sounds of the ambulance. The curious citizens come out, they stand, and wonder why." - Should be edited like this:
With the sounds of the ambulance the curious citizens come outside. They stand and wonder what has happened."

"but than... His heart beats being to become sparatic." - but then his heart beats become too sporadic.

"Whom disobeyed his boss" - Who

"I am sorry i" - second i = I

" i am no" - I

I think you would possibly benefit from this site: http://web.ku.edu/~edit/whom.html
It helps you understand when to use 'who' and when to use 'whom.' Take a look. :]

I like the idea of this story. I like how as the story progressed, the character grew up and molded himself into who he thought he should be. I thought it was pretty good. :]