NewBlood

From the heart of another...

His days are filled with endless yearning,

cravings he just can't place.

He weeps, a loner without reason,

his mind an empty space.

Keening softly in the darkness,

body rocking to and fro.

He searched in vain for a cure,

each night, when sun sank low.

The lust was indescribable,

his newborn mind untamed.

As the memories came flooding back,

hand in hand with shame.

Each night brought more dark deeds,

to ebb the resentful thirst.

Doomed to prey on innocent lives,

one bite of love; forever cursed.

Author's Note

I challenged myself to write about a different sex, point of view, and a change I have yet to experience in such a large measure.

Reviews

[topsyturvy]

Well, I think you've done a great job in writing this piece.:) I'm not sure though what you meant to portray in this piece.. For me, it sounded as though the guy was trying in vain to erase his past but somehow ends up always making/repeating the same mistakes which leaves him desperate and somehow seeking for a cure toward his unrelenting ways. But then again, another thing that comes to mind would be, he's trying to forget a loved one, and for him to do that, he tries to meet new people in search for his release.. But then again, alot of other things and interpretations can be made from your poem. Loved every bit of it.:) Ty for sharing it.:)

[Jenny W]

WOW that is soooooo coooolll! and a change you have yet to experience?? are you planning on becoming a vampire newborn? or have i completely missed the metaphor here.... :/ lolsa love you x x

[Prudence Desideria]

Oh I ove it! The vampiric darkness, the sensible prose, the emotional challenge behind each word. It's so hard to believe you have written this, in a good way... That sounds wrong, what I mean is you are so very wise and it always stuns me a little (although it really shouldn't anymore) how powerful your pen is ;) keep it up sweetie!


"one bite of love; forever cursed." and "to ebb the resentful thirst." Adoring those lines! There is a lot of depth in that, a lot of emotion. I like your take on it, and the parallels that can mean everything and nothing. Keeping it vague, but playing on various heart strings and people's tendency to make connections (for examply the Vampire angle I immediately thought of when reading) makes this even more intriguing, because it can mean a million different things. The constant element of surprise, you don't REALLY wanna know why mona lisa is smiling after all...




Only thing 'an' to 'a'
"weeps, an loner without reason"

[O!]

I find rhyme softens or disturbs a subject of horror/terror/evil/bad etc. etc. but urs doesnt....
love the choice of words...the depiction.....just right! ...in rhyme and 2 lines...

flow problems here and there and typos...but thats just carelessness...but then again...it doesnt disturb the piece!...that is how good it is! ...im saving this one.

btw....the line in ur explanation about the poem is really good .....u should use it in another poem or write a story around it..."from the heart of another"...chills!

x,
O!

[Raven Wilson]

I love this!
Its haunting and you can feel the yearning to find a cure to his "cursed" existence.