A Twilight Belief

As he knelt down to a simmering hope

Life would smile in rippled care

Some sort of love would descend

Holding all that is dear 

Shadowed folds of light 

Banking tried sight

Leaves of pale brown afloat

As belief wanders a stare

Wings of lilac blue attach

Manufacturing belief that once prevailed

If anything and nothing 

Would contain a time it once stood

Tonight weavers of hope

Hiding a sun sure to shine

A forgotten hanging creating light

A vessel  once overflown

In pastor green or escapades of hope

A wondering skyline illusive in gold

Memories of a  breezing shore

A meandering May would call

Reviews

[Einstein Noodle]

i like the title and poem connection...pic is inspiring ..its just such a place of solitude that can bring peace and comfort to a troubled mind and heart ... for those who are taught Faith as youth ... find it mightily tested over and over until one chooses ;) i think you have captured something very special ... introversion and introspection are gifts ..if one can take courage and simply "let go" ... your poem is inspirational for me ... some challenging personifications and metaphors ... but i think thats a big plus!
E.

[B]

Thank you E

[Ethan]

This isn't a bad poem, but I'd take a look at your rhyme structure. In the first 8 lines, you establish a pattern (of sorts), and you need to either follow the pattern, or create a new one. It feels odd to have the first eight lines conformed to a rhyme scheme, and then to just hardly rhyme at all in the rest of the poem. On another note, I could be reading this incorrectly, but it seems as though you're relying heavily on a thesaurus. If not, I'd work on finding more appropriate adjectives and adverbs to describe the items you want to describe. "A simmering hope" is an odd phrase. First, hope is a positive word with positive connotations. Though simmering isn't necessarily always negative, I believe it's most commonly placed in the phrase "simmering anger." As a general rule, try to match up positive adjectives with positive nouns and negative adjectives with negative nouns, unless you're trying to very obviously make a point of demonstrating the negative qualities of a positive noun, like the phrase "terrible laugh." The author is changing laugh from a positive thing to a negative thing. This is effective because "terrible" is a very clearly negative adjective. However, when you use a word like "simmering" which has a slightly negative to neutral connotation, it doesn't really help your poem out. So, if you're using a thesaurus, I'd try to start relying more on every day adjectives you'd use in conversation. These adjectives flow more easily within the poem, and using conversational language in poetry isn't very taboo. If you aren't using a thesaurus, I'd work on making sure the more complicated adjectives you use always have connotations that match the nouns they are are describing, unless you want to change the noun's connotation into something which it is not usually associated with. If you're attempting to change a noun's connotation, make sure to use an adjective with a connotation which strongly opposes the noun's connotation, like "dangerous charisma." Anyway, I hope this helps. Keep writing :)

[B]

Sweet ..... you really care
Thank you Ethan

[Coyote Poetry]

Had the feel of a prayer. Many places and journey, you took the reader with. I had to read a few times. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[B]

Thank you C for your kind words

[John the Baptist]

This is an unusual poem consisting of a series of couplets, each of which is a mysterious words picture. The images, often beautiful but always cryptic, do not seem to have a unified theme, though that does not prove there is not one. The last line mentions "A meandering May." Since the word is capitalized, it might refer to the month, but it also might connote the current British PM. Then again, it might mean something else entirely, or nothing. I won't hazard a guess now, just applaud the beauty of the work.

[B]

Thank you John

[andrew mitchell]

Lovely lines of sadness reflected by nature in the wild. Some great lines.

[B]

Thank you Andrew ......

[wordman]

good and bad,it all merges together bringing sunshine and rain,sometimes just out of reach,but it will always come around again

[B]

I am sure of that
Thank you

[wordman]

you`re welcome

[danielle.]

I Like this. It feels bittersweet, tinged with sadness but overtones of hope. Beautiful words to read, thank you for sharing x

[B]

Thank you for your kind words

[Chris Shaw]

As I read your lines I got a feeling of s troubled soul who was hopeful for peace in the changing light. Wishing for a transformation of state of mind to descend from the heavens. That's where you took me with your lines. Your posted image quite lovely.

Chris

[B]

Thank you Chris :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

wow, this creates a feeling of being so close to the light..almost having that rainbow, but just not quite being able to extend enough to get there, to touch it...or maybe that at one time we were at that rainbow, enjoying that light and somehow lost it...and are vainly trying to get back to it.
j.

[B]

So true ..... Thank you Jacob