Hunting Doves - Collab with Einstein Noodle

Mourning  for themselves, it seems, they coo.

Proper load for the killing is one ounce 

of eights. Kill as many as you can; 

they are small.

There can be no turning of cheeks today.

As sheets fly in classy white

Knowledge imparted by the profile

Low keys of feelings saying no

Hurting the words 

Lack of senseless lurking

Within the curious mind

Rides a form of dove

Blinking out the rut 

How far can they go, after all; 

evolution calls the young ones squabs.

They pick at mother's neck for crop milk.

Who ever said this is somehow better?

They whistle through tails when they leave.

Reviews

[Ken Simm.]

I think of the Passenger Pigeon which proliferated in flocks that covered three states. And now none are left.
I think of the skill in this write where the collaborators make it seem seamless.
I think of the melancoly tone of this write whereby the reader is gently encouraged to understand the inequalities and sadness of the world and nature.
I think of the symbolism of the dove and the hopes for peace.
I think I don't know if I read aright but I hope so. That is what I think.

[B]

I love how you saw our piece
EN is fabulous he is the brains behind this operation lol

[SleeplessVolcano]

Oh boy, I don't know how I missed this one....must have been on one of my 80-days-around-the-world internet fasts....;)

I love the imagery of doves....white doves, so peaceful, grey doves, so melodiously calming, as they coo in unison....then hunting them seems so futile, like hunting our own dreams, popping the balloons at the party of our inner child.....

Great job both of you....I think I need a collab lesson now....any offers? ;)

[B]

Thank you SV
i am up for it anytime

[barleygirl]

This story-in-verse is full of a tantalizing melancholy tone . . . the doves are being subjected to harshness it seems, a fitting metaphor for "peace" also seeming to be further & further from our grasp in this world. The thoughts & observations are expressed in vivid bits & pieces, as if like the fluttering remains of doves as they're shot from the sky.

[B]

Thank you Barleygirl

[EcstaticEuphoria]

Mourning for themselves, it seems, they coo.... so eternally sad. Thanks for sharing

[B]

Thank you Rosalee for your review

[KWP]

I feel this poem could relate to many of the sadnesses sweeping the world just now. The first thought that came to mind was of the Chemical attack in Syria - children dying, they never had a chance - children are the white doves to me. Or I just read an article about children being used (killed) for the blackmarket organ trade in asia - children are the white doves of humanity, for they are young, at peace, until the rest of the world thrusts it's ugliness forward to either taint their souls, or kill .....

the white doves ask nothing of us, except to practise peace ...

This is a lovely write by two accomplished authors - what a great pair you make ... a haunting piece that slowly sinks deeper and deeper within.

[B]

Thank you so much for the time you spent writing this
and Syria wrecks the heart .... i cried so much just reading about it and seeing people flee their homes .....
thank you so much

[Kelly Scheppers]

I have an actual nest outside my window with two squabs that are thriving! They are awesome birds, and they mate for life. It really is insane why man must kill them, when they only have a life expectancy of up to five years.

[B]

Because man is brutal
I have pigeons that visit everyday lol for some reason

Thank you

[Einstein Noodle]

what a treat working with you once again Ms. Solo ...your spontaneity and trust of your inspirations prods this old stubborn bull along and stretches me in all the good ways ..love ya girl!
E.

[B]

i love you too E

[OneAmongstMany]

Solemn and poignant, really makes the reader think. Great job!

[B]

Thank you very much for your review

[wordman]

seems like man has to kill every thing,great message

[B]

Yup pretty much
Thank you wordman

[Retro_Wave]

Yeah, I definitely agree with the comments here. This is beautiful, yet solemn piece. I think one thing that ropes me in is through the usage of "lacking in the senseless mind". I hope it's not a bad thing, but this piece invoked some sadness or grief. Very powerful! I look forward to more! Bravo!

[B]

Thank you for your review :)