The Start of a Journey

The start of my love story.

My path is unclear. Many things elude me. The most confusing thing in life, to me, is love. I always feel it, but I can’t seem to perceive it. How do I even know it is that it is what it seems?
I have many love stories; dates, breakups, makeups, then breakups again. The cycle keeps going, and I get hurt every time. It’s like a claw piercing my heart every time I break up forever. The sad thing is, it will never get healed.
It is like I’m the queen of my own castle, my own brain. It also eludes me, but it is me. I use my powers to the fullest extent. I am free when I really live, which isn’t often.
All I can do is think. Sure, I can move and feel, but I can only think. I think scientifically, and sometimes science is unavailable, which brings us back to love, which I suck at. I enjoy things I can explain. I enjoy things I can’t explain, but the mystery involved is unbearable.
I have heard that there is such thing as forbidden love. I don’t even know why it would be forbidden. Is it some mysterious creature in the land of darkness, or is it simply the human brain?
I haven't dated in over a year. I don't know how I've lasted this long without the cycle. Maybe something will happen soon. I have been eyeing someone. He always has a Rubiks cube in his hands, he's funny, and he's cute. He has a lot in common with me, and I read that opposites don't attract and that people prefer mates with similar qualities.
I am beginning to think I am obsessed with love. It's addictive. It feels like it grabs me by the back of my shirt. It pulls, stronger and stronger. Eventually I can't stay grounded and I go insane. I am about there.
There is something between that boy and I. His name is Colbren, but he prefers Cole. I call him either one. I wonder if it bugs him to call him Colbren. My friend, Emily and I have been talking about him a lot. She seems obsessed with my obsession, which can be very weird at times.
Cole texted me after midnight whenever he could over Christmas break. I knew what was going on there. So did my frenemy, Collin. I get their names mixed up a lot, and I can usually cover it up, but when I can't, it's embarrassing.
I knew Colbren liked me, and he knew I liked him. The day was perfect. We were enjoying life like none tomorrow. We were talking like we had everything and nothing. I didn't think I would ask him out, but I couldn't resist.
It was during P.E. Sure, we were dressed out, but we didn't care. The way I asked him out was weird. It was like this: We were on Ripstiks, I was trying to get a moment alone with him, then I finally got a moment with a call, "Come here." Then it was just to do the honors, "This is sort of a weird time to ask, but will you go out with me?" Boy, did he smile. He was grinning, well, for him, at least. He didn't smile much, but now he does. He nodded and replied, "Yes." Then we basically did a victory lap or 2 around the gym on Ripstiks.
The next day, I asked him if and when he was going to ask me out. He would have asked me the next Wednesday. I have never been asked out by a boy before. If I could have waited. I never believed how 2 people became, as long as they became. Now, I almost regret asking him out, even though it was one of the happier moments of my life.
I have been thinking about giving him a Rubik's cube for Valentines day, which isn't very far. I have been dating him for 3 days, including today. It's a little soon to start thinking about it, but this is probably going to last a while. I've been thinking about the message I would write on it; would it be "I love you -Haley," "It brought us together. Love, Haley," or something else.
This is the start of our journey, and I haven't been able to keep my mind off of him. Now, Cole is my obsession. Yay...

Reviews

[Cole V.]

Wow......
I like how you write.
I'd never imagined it from your perspective
Love you too Haley

[Pinkhorses22]

I try to think of your perspective all the time.