I want

I just want all the thoughts to stop.
I want to go back to bed,

but not alone with the s**t in my head.

I want to look at the stars,

but not think about how small I am.

I want to bring up my mom,

but not the tears she brings along.

I want to hear you say my name,

but not from so far away.

I want to talk to people,

but not be scared to be myself.

I want to be strong,

but not in a way my arms can help.

I want to have a friend,

but not one that puts me last.

I want to get in a fight,

but not one I could easily win.

I want to cry,

but not because I'm sad.

I want to be in love,

but not worry about it leaving.

I want to die,

but not today.

I want to sleep,

but not until the thoughts are gone.