Life and Lies

A lifetime of baggage,
with too many mistakes.

When she was young
she dreamed of stars
but with age
her eyes dimmed.

When she found love,
she lost time.
When she regained her dreams,
he took away her hope.

With disappointment she drew marks,
with scars came cover-ups.

With abuse
came release,
with rest came sleep.

She lived her life.
She packed her bags.
She learned from her lessons.
She whispered her wavering good-bye.

Reviews

[JRB]

pain lost is healing moments found

[Chris]

Quite a story here...

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

The more pain and rejection we face in life the easier it is to become jaded... but you can take each new day as new hope to turn the negative into positive. Love the ending of the poem.

[Pi Cee]

The last line did say "said", but I think whispered works much better. Thanks for taking the time to think on this. It's very much appreciated. =)

[The Rock And Roll Cowboy(REBEL WITH A CAUSE)]

My pleasure.

[That_Guy]

I find this to be all too true. I'd hate to see those eyes dim

[Pi Cee]

Yours, or hers?

[That_Guy]

hers

[...]

. heartbreaking ... but absolutely exquisite poetry ... i have known that "wavering" ... my "wavering" revealed many hues of me to me ... frankly, i did not know that i was capable of compassion or empathy before that wavering ... and it involved a lot of oscillation ... i judged myself a lot every day ... i changed my mind every day ... this piece reminds me of my life a lot ... thank you for writing it and sharing it ... and please do be kind to yourself no matter what ...

[Pi Cee]

I'm learning how to do that, and I think I can keep it up. Thank you, your reviews mean so much to me.

[...]

. you're very welcome ... i read my own heart in your words ...

[Xanthous Crow]

Stunningly well written. The poem strings along at a very nice pace. It drips with life's disappointments, and perhaps disappointments that stem from themselves, like weeds, rather than the course of life. The final line has a feeble, almost futile feel to it, because of the word "wavering"..... not because of it being poorly written, just the general sentiment. Wavering is a negative word that speaks (at least to me) of a weakness..... a wavering goodbye does not seem a strong goodbye, albeit an emotional one.

The line that was most enjoyable and most biting, however, was "When she regained her dreams,/he took away her hope." I understand the line, I relate to it, even, but it also draws up a well of anger directed at the male in the line. No one should have the right to have such an impact on another like that.

Nicely done.

[Pi Cee]

Thank you. Her goodbye did waver, was weak, feeble. She didn't want to leave, she wanted all the chances she should have gotten, she wanted her meaning to mean enough to stay behind to other people, that certain other person who ruined her, but lifted her head the highest. Nothing in her life had been strong other than the simple fact her name got written, though she didn't agree with where.

[Wolfwind]

A poem that speaks of a long story, one that's been filled with the burnt coffee and old grounds of a coffee cup long used and chipped. No matter the course that those sails have taken, no matter the burnt villages that have been seen. There is a new coffee cup and a fresh brew in a new port of call. It's out there. This I believe and know.

A powerful poem! Makes one ask lots of questions. =)
Aaron =)

[Pi Cee]

Questions...that still haven't left my head.
Thanks for the review.