The Ram

I found myself

lost, wandering

within the Pines

Came across a sorry, lying

drunkard, with fish hooks for eyes

I got down on both knees

and begged a stranger for direction

He pulled out a map from his breast pocket 

and handed me 

his compass

Promised he could not lead me

to absolution

but guaranteed a safe journey back to sanity

Turning to ash, 

there stood a ram before me

 and I followed the lone animal to the wood's edge

It turned to look at me with confusion,

desperation, in its eyes

before charging, 

horns tilted downward, off a cliff

And there I stood

at the wood's edge

map and compass still in hand

Reviews

[KWP]

Oh, well this is a treat to read, something different, something immersive. A great little almost flash fiction. If I would suggest you focus on anything it would be that the whole piece is 'telling' and because it is almost a tale, if you used language that 'show' what is happening I really feel that this poem would jump in leaps and bounds and be something really quite special.

An example ...

'I got down on my knees' could be,

Falling hard onto my knees,
begging a strange man for direction.

Does that make sense?

[Kerra]

This is quite interesting, i enjoyed this

[Delmar Cooper]

Look me in the eye then try to look away, just try. Hooked aren't you? Is a guarantee of sanity double your craziness back, or a simple refund? Was the ram really a ram or a horny lemming?

[Misery]

Very satisfying to read, like a song in pure fiction. I'm lost in your fish hooks for eyes, and I'm wishing I could see the sight at by the wood's edge. You're incredibly gifted. KWP has a solid suggestion, but whether you choose to integrate it or not you've got a a nice style!

[Inda]

I like this, there's just a vagueness to it; possibly on purpose, that made me sort of read it again. I like the overall story and the fact that the promise was made, but i get the feeling maybe there's more to this or something i'm overlooking. Overall i liked it, your command of the language makes it easy to read.