She offered me a smoke on our way back home While she rambled on about how freedom tastes like tang and Childhood of dried blood and gravel That when you reach your prime age Your ceiling shouldn't be as filthy as your bed sheets And that christening gown- The one that’s stained with strawberry orange jam From when you were a baby Should be tossed out along with the overflowing trash That old perfume bottles should be filled with Brandy and Kept hidden on the floor of your closet Because although authentic and beautiful Your mother’s eyes will fill with tears if she finds them and Your father’s voice will shake with the same rage that Boils in the pit of your swollen stomach And when you’re young Carnations and Roses Should not be on the dining table but Cherries and clementines Because high expectations don’t taste as sweet as forgiving yourself
On our way back home She passed me the cigarette carton Inside was filled with pressed pansies and she told me that Even the most innocent, precious flowers Will eventually wither and decay
On our way back home Our naked fingers clutched onto a bottle of whiskey Torn photos of the seaside and Scratched records
She promised me that death is not only filled with Cockroaches and maggots but Satin sheets and lace curtains with The smell of burnt dragon’s blood and sage
She promised me that when we close our eyes together All will be calm And when our eyes open in the late winter weather We’ll finally find our June.
I wrote this within a half an hour, and I included elements of everything that has been on my mind lately..about growing up, and throwing away all the things that pain you and problems concerning body image..all of the parasites that make up life.
My Review
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This is fantastic! Such a powerful story that is driven by intrigue and the characters are well developed which is difficult considering how short this is. Just a faantastic write!
A very powerful piece that demands several thorough readings...every line and stanza is deep and rich and seems to carry allegorical undertones...I found it easy to immerse myself in this one, it's unique in every aspect, and even though there is no shortage of ugliness in it, it is offset by elements of hope that made it a truly fulfilling piece emotionally and philosophically...I loved the second-to-last stanza, and the wild mix of images, the cigarettes, flowers, insects, scratched records, and the list goes on...lot of food for thought in this one...great work :)
I find your choice of words riveting which is only complemented by your pace. I look forward to reading other pieces from you ! Even if they are half as decent as this one, it will be worth reading. Cheers !
"And when you're young
carnations and roses
Should not be on the dining table but
Cherries and clementines
Because high expectations don't taste as sweet as forgiving yourself"
A piece to be heard, read out loud. There is a rhythm to this, maybe the more accurate term is tone, that resonated with me. Imagery can be powerful and here you give the reader plenty to feel, to see.
I am astonished when I come across a poet who uses a combination of words and "picture words" that convey a time, a feeling. The kind that takes you back to a place and time you may have never been, yet you feel as if you have. I get that here.
The teenage years is probably the hardest stage human beings can go through. It's the stage where you discover who you're true friends are, who you're enemies are, your emotions confuse, you're thinking about sex, you're willing to break your parent's rules and get them on their nerves, you question about drugs....
I remember my teenage years, and they weren't that great. I've ben often pushed out, and you'd see me in the hallway with my head down, but for the past two years of high school I was sick of living that gray life, and I began to say, "F**k you, this is me." And when I told people how I really felt, well, it was their turn to live in that gray life.
So, anyway, I feel a lot of honesty in this poem, and the fear of losing innocence, because human beings will have to lose their innocence sometime, right? Great write. Thanks for sharing.