First Teenage Love Affair...

A complicated love story about Jenna, a teenager in love with a boy she doesn't know outside of cyber-space. Will she finally find out who this mysterious stranger is? Or is he closer than she thinks

First Teenage Love Affair

One

Girls in white dresses and boys in black tux’s handsome and dapper. It was the first annual spring ball at my school West Virginia Primary. I was sitting in the back of all the mayhem; everyone was having fun talking, dancing and laughing in the back. I felt like I didn’t belong, I felt out of place. “Jenna, come dance with us” my friend Jade said pulling me towards the dance floor. She looked so beautiful in her black dress and her beautiful long brown hair pulled up in a slick bun. She was very pretty and I was a bit jealous because I was the exact opposite of her. I was short, blond and I couldn’t dress well to save my own life. Jade insisted until I finally said yes. We danced for what seemed to be 30 minutes till Jasmine and her friends Jenny and Holly came and ruined our fun:

 

Jasmine- Wow Jenna, I think I’m getting noxious just staring at your ugly dress

Jenny- and did you see those moves, talk about having ants in your pants

Holly laughs- No you guys I really like her hair…NOT!!!

Two

They all walked away laughing and to be quite honest, I didn’t really care. Jasmine and her friends were just picking out things I knew that I lacked so it just didn’t bother me. Jade and I kept dancing our hearts out. Just dancing our worries away, no care in the world.

So my dad fetched me at 9 from the dance and I told him everything, how the food and décor was and how Jade’s dress looked very elegant. I kinda left out the part about Jasmine but it didn’t matter. 

 

At home I lived with both my parents, my big brothers Chandler and Aden and I had 2 birds and a cat. See, we didn’t really live a fancy shmancy life and it wasn’t really a matter of being poor. We had a normal family living in a pretty normal house. When I arrived, I went straight to my room and to my computer. See, like other normal teenagers I had a social life. I was on a group chat with a bunch of kids from my school but the annoying part was that some used anonymous names therefore making it hard to have an actual conversation with them. I’ve been chatting to one of them, his name’s ChristianB201. I know that he’s from my school but I just don’t know who he is. I also used a nickname (Jenna450) but the funny part was that my name wasn’t really that special. At school there were about 450 Jenna’s (Clever, I know) I wanted to know if he had any idea who I was, that’s part of the reason I was rushing to my room (That and I really needed the bathroom):

Three

 

Christian- Hey stranger

Jenna- Hey yourself

Christian- So like did you go to the spring formal?

Jenna- Yeah, I did. Did you?

Christian- Me too, I looked for a lot of girls in blue dresses but none of them were you

Jenna- I guess you didn’t look hard enough hey, you never looked in my direction

Christian- All this would be easier if you just told me who you were

Jenna- Right back at you then

Christian- LOL, fine then. Tell me your initials. Maybe that’ll help

Jenna- J.H…your turn

Christian- J.C.K.

Jenna- This doesn’t help neither of us, there are thousands of people with those initials!

Christian- See, just tell me your name

Jenna- I’ll leave you with this then, I’m one of the short Jenna’s at school

Christian- That sort of helps a little

Jenna- Your turn, tell me something helpful about you

Christian- Hmm… my surname’s Kingsley

I think fate wasn’t on our side; I was stuck with a middle name and a surname. I didn’t know where to start looking tomorrow at school because our school was very big. We had a lot of students and A LOT of people with those initials. In my head I thought “Maybe it’s a girl or some psycho lesbian” because our school was swimming with lesbians. I don’t know why they all just didn’t all go to an all girl’s school, instead they had to creep us normal people out. It was very frustrating. I said goodnight to Christian, said a silent prayer and went to bed.

Four

The following day at school I was feeling really confident about my hunt for Christian. I had my friend Jade who practically knew every single person at school and my guy friend Chad. He was part of the basketball team (And he was a boy!) I had actually asked if it was him because his initials are C.J.k (Almost like J.C.K) but it wasn’t him. We spent the whole of lunch break looking for Christian but didn’t have anything. I had my suspects though. There was Christian Kennedy, he was a computer geek so it could’ve been him. And Christian Kruse, he was very good at talking to girls but he was a little shy. I still had a few suspects but for now, my mind was set on biology because that was out next class.

                    **Biology Class**

Five

 

Biology at school was one of my favourite subjects. Not only was I acing it, I really liked everything about it. Jade sat at the front with Chad and I was stuck with Jacob. Some dude, he doesn’t really say much but he’s really cute. So the lesson began but Mr Small was absent and we had to sit in class quietly (Knowing how 7A gets, quiet wasn’t possible) I immediately took that time to just read a book but Jacob had other plans:

 

Jacob- Hi, so like I know this is the first time we’ve communicated. May I please borrow a ruler?

Me- Really? The first time we actually speak, you ask for a ruler?

Jacob- Yeah well I need a ruler and you’re closest so please

Me- that’s not a good enough reason though

Jacob- you have pretty eyes, now can I have it?

Me- You really think my eyes are pretty?

Jacob- Yeah, I like the mystery behind them

Me- Aw, just for that you can have my ruler

Jacob said thank you after he borrowed my ruler and I was still in shock because he’d complimented me. Apart from my parents and Jade, no one actually compliments me…especially not a dude who I thought was cute. I spent almost the whole lesson thinking about what kind of guy Christian was. It seemed as though none of the kids here quiet matched his qualities…not even the lesbians (Sigh of relief) so I guess I was back to square one and I had to go fishing for more answers.

Six

“I think it’s Jacob, he’s the only guy that we haven’t asked Jenna” Chad told me when we were walking home after school. He and I were neighbours and our houses were within walking distance. I’d been friends with Chad longer than I’d been with Jade.

 

Jade was staying in at school for baseball practice so I had to walk home with Chad. I must admit though he had a point. But the funny part was that Jacob’s initials were J.C.C and he’d never mentioned his middle name before. The whole walk home Chad and I were arguing that Jacob might or might not be my mystery guy. “He might just be a crazed lunatic and he changed his last initial Jen” Chad argued his case “Or maybe there’s just one guy you haven’t asked. You know Chad, you don’t know every single person at our school” I argued mine back. We just kept going back and forth and it wasn’t going anywhere so we just left it as it was because neither of us wanted to be wrong.

“Hi honey, how was school?” my mom shouted as I bolted to my room. I just shouted “Fine!” then went straight to my room. I put my bag on the floor next to my bed and went straight to my computer. There was a message from Christian and I couldn’t help but smile as I opened it:

Seven

 

Christian- I saw you today

Me- wow, I saw you too but the problem is I don’t know who I saw

Christian- well, I think it might’ve been you. I have a good feeling about this

Me- wow, you seem a bit confident about that. Describe me, I’ll tell you if it’s true

Christian- Big beautiful blue eyes, short blond hair and you have a cute laugh

Me- but you don’t know for sure that was me though

Christian- I just know for a fact. Hey listen I have to go now

Me- Oh. Let me guess…Biology homework?

Christian- Yeah, hopefully see you at school next week

Me- Okay, maybe I will too

I logged off and went downstairs for a snack. In the kitchen I saw my dad was reading the newspaper and my mom was making lunch.

 

My older brother Chandler was outside feeding the dog and Aden (My other brother) was in his room doing God knows what. Our house was pretty crowded; we had a pet bird, 2 dogs and a kitten. I was very happy that the house was full because no one really spoke to anyone and I could just fly by as I wanted without anyone noticing. I didn’t really feel comfortable talking to a lot of people because I was a very enclosed person (And I kinda had trust issues)

Eight

It was the last day of school and I was dreading it. I kinda hopped that I’d have met Christian by then but I guess some things were left to the mystery. Chad, Jade and I were going to the same high school so I was very happy that I didn’t lose my friends.

The last day was very emotional especially since it was our last day of primary. Next year we were going back to being nobodies. Back to being at the bottom of the food chain. It kinda sucked but it was good to be free from Jasmine’s ridicule and bullying but knowing high school and after watching every single high school movie, I knew that there was going to be another Jasmine waiting specially for me. I wasn’t really looking forward to that part of high school.

At school we had our last juniors soccer match and had final assembly. Mr Rich our principle was getting pretty emotional. Saying that we were the best class the school has ever had but we begged to differ. Our class of 2012 was very rowdy and loud. We broke all the rules but I guess they just saying that to make us seem like angels and they couldn’t wait to get rid of us. In the hall I was sitting with Jacob and Jade (Chad had to go to the doctor) and I must say Jacob looked even cuter up close. I saw that he had brown eyes. I actually got lost in them for a second before he said to me:

 

Jacob- so this is it hey. The final year of kiddie’s ville

Me- yeah, and we just started talking. I’m going to miss this place hey

Jacob- yeah me too. Hey are you doing anything today?

Me-no why?

Jacob- I figured since we won’t be seeing each other next year, I’d take you out for lunch

Me- wow, and if we were going to the same high school then you wouldn’t be doing all this

Jacob- no I meant like, since I don’t know you-

Me- so we’re complete strangers now. What about my ruler?

Jacob- oh come on Jenna, I was kidding. Just go out for lunch with me

Me- fine but on one condition

Jacob- what?

Me- I’ll pick the place

Jacob had no choice but to agree. I was feeling really happy and I couldn’t wait to tell Jade and Chad.

Our school was a regular jungle. We had a ritual every year where the 7^th graders egged everyone. Even the teachers. We went wild that day. We toilet papered Mr Rich’s car, egged the biology class but I wasn’t part of that because I liked Biology. Everyone had a good time and I actually had a decent conversation with Jasmine without her being mean. We exchanged email addresses but I highly doubt she’ll have time to send ME an email. After school everyone reeked of eggs and they were all covered in toilet paper and flour. All of them but me. See I was a very messy clean person (If that makes any sense). I wasn’t really that messy, I managed to dodge eggs and flour and I was very proud of myself. My mom fetched me from school because we had to send Chandler off at the airport (He was studying overseas) because he got into some expensive varsity college with a scholarship for rugby. After that I went to Chad’s house and told him everything.

Nine

I was in my room getting ready for my lunch date with Jacob.

I was feeling really nervous since it was my first date with a dude. My mom did my hair and put curls. I looked really cute. I had on a yellow maxi dress and white shoes. As I went downstairs I saw that my mom was taking pictures “She’ll be asking for the keys to the car next year dad. Our little baby is all grown up hey” she said with a face full of tears and I was really happy I shared this special moment with my parents. Most parents were very uptight about these types of things but I was happy my parents were happy. I had an apple before Jacob came and got me. We went to a pizza place around the corner from my house so it was within walking distance and we only left in the late afternoon at about 6ish. It was safer to pick a closer place (my dad said!)

Jacob looked very cute, cuter than usual. He was wearing black jeans and a black shirt but he unbuttoned some of it to show off his amazing chest. I guess being captain of both the soccer and rugby A team in our school paid off. Jacob was a real gentleman, he opened my seat and he did everything perfectly. We had the best time and I was actually glad to know him…who he was instead of him being a random stranger I sat with during Biology.

*New Year. New Start. Same Habits*

Ten

So a whole year went by. I got to go on a date with Jacob and I think I’ve fallen for him. I know it’s really stupid but since the date we’ve kept contact and I really enjoy talking to him. I actually drifted far apart with Christian. It got boring because I didn’t know him and the whole mystery game was over, I got tired of playing the “waiting game” so I just stopped talking to him. I never told him that I met someone else I just left it like that, I figured it was the best thing to do since we didn’t know each other and we both didn’t want to meet up. (Well look at me making big decisions. I guess I really have grown up hey)

 

So today was the first day at a new school. The sun was shining bright and I felt brand new. Like I was a new person, a new woman.  A new INDEPENDENT woman. Watch out Blue Berg High because here comes Jenna!

Chad, Jade and I agreed to meet up in front of the gate and as usual I was always early. As I was standing there I saw different people coming in. Short girls that seemed like me and tall slender girls who should be in magazines. They all greeted me with big smiles on their faces. So far high school appeared to be a blast. Finally Chad came and I greeted him with a huge hug. I kissed him on the cheek (For the first time) and he turned red and “accidently” (So he claims) kissed me on the lips. We both stood there awkwardly till Jade came.

Eleven

Our principle’s name was Mrs Richards and she was a really nice lady but had a very stern serious face. I had a few surprises along the way. My cousin Randy was in my class along with Chad and Holly (Jasmine’s friend) but the biggest surprise of it all was seeing Jacob. He looked a bit older and buffer than the last time I’d seen him. I could tell he was also surprised to see me because he nervously walked towards me and gave me the biggest hug ever. “I’m surprised to see you here Jenna” he said. I noticed that he was wearing new cologne and his hair was very greasy. I told him I was in 8A. We were in the same class. That probably made my day. I was really starting to like him and in my head I still hopped that he was Christian.

After school I walked home with Jacob and it was really great! Amazing even. We were flirting. Holding hands and I even got a peck on the cheek from him. It felt so unreal and I loved every minute of his company. When we reached my house I introduced him to my crazy family. My mom was expecting a child soon so she was just a big of hormones wrapped up in a lot of ice-cream on the sofa. My dad was too busy fixing the car outside and Aden was in his room.

Jacob and I went to my room to chill and listen to some music. Him and I had the same interests.

We liked the same type of music and in a way we were both socially awkward. Jacob chilled with me until he got a phone call from his mom and had to go. Before he left he said “You should wear your hair up more often. It really brings out your beautiful eyes” I was really happy he said that. It totally made my night. I walked him out and I realised it was dark out. He gave me a hug (infront of his mom who was in the car I mean…how romantic is that!) he even blew a kiss before the car drove off.

Later I went upstairs and saw that I had a message from Christian:

Twelve

 

Christian- hey stranger

Me- hi

Christian- it’s been a while, how are you?

Me- I’m okay you?

Christian- I’m good, so did you find out which high school you’re going to?

Me- Yeah, Blue Berg High. You?

Christian- Wow small world hey. I go there too

Me- this is getting us nowhere, please tell me who you are

Christian- How about we meet tomorrow after school. I’ll be wearing a blue jacket

Me- And I’ll be wearing a yellow dress. See you then

Christian- just promise me you won’t be disappointed after you see me

Me- I promise, and I expect the same from you too

Christian- Okay well, goodnight

When I logged off, I didn’t know if I should feel glad or worried. Why would he think I’d be disappointed? Did he by any chance know me already?  In situations like this I just go to my mom and eat my worries away. My mom and I got closer and I even started talking to her about a lot of things (Including my first boy dilemma). So tonight we watched sad movies in the dark, ate ice-cream and just acted like girls, did what normal girls do. After the third movie I went to bed but before I did, I got a text from Jacob

 (Yes, my dad finally bought me a phone) which made my heart melt and smile:

 

Hey Jen, just wanted to thank you for a great day. In case you haven’t noticed I like spending time with you. You’re the most amazing girl in the world. See you tomorrow at school. Sweet dreams. Love Jacob x

I was so happy and over the moon after his text that I decided to call him:

Thirteen

 

Jacob- Hey you

Me- Hey, thank you so much for that cute message

Jacob- my pleasure but you should’ve just sent a message

Me- I don’t roll like that. I prefer to personally thank people I care about

Jacob- Even if it means waking them up at 2am in the morning on a school night?

Me- I didn’t realise, sorry Jay.

Jacob- Whoa Jay? I have to give you a nickname too I guess

Me- maybe you should sleep that out hey. Get back to me when you’ve found one

Jacob- Well then it won’t be that hard. Goodnight Jenna

Me- Bye Jay Jay!

I slept with a big smile on my face that night (Technically morning) but I couldn’t help but feel nervous about the morning (Technically when the sun rises). What if Jacob wasn’t Christian? Would things be the same, or will I end up with someone else? And if so, did this person know who I was, was he just afraid of being rejected? In my head I was scrambling and I struggled to come to a conclusion. I didn’t know how to feel about everything!

          **The Big Day**

The following day I felt very sick but I wasn’t going to let that ruin my day. I was about to find out who my mystery dude was and hopefully be in a relationship with him or it turns out to be Jacob then I’ll be the happiest girl ever. The weather had other plans though. It made it impossible for me to wear my yellow short mini dress (It was raining heavily). My mom gave a lot of suggestions of wearing it in cold weather but I was starting to dread even coming to school. I decided to wear my black leggings underneath. I took Jacob’s suggestion and wore my hair up. I had a black scarf on and black pumps. Even though my outfit was on point, my mood wasn’t. Since Aden (My brother) got his license, he drove me to school. I wanted him to turn the car around and I even made weird excuses just so I could come late and sit detention but he wasn’t taking any s**t from me that morning.

At school Chad was acting very strange. He was quiet most of the day and he didn’t really spend as much time with Jade and I. I guess he was trying to “hang with the guys”, so I just let slide and I wasn’t bothered at all. I wasn’t that type of friend who kept their friends for themselves and I wasn’t the jealous type either. It was okay for him to hang out with other people because I’d also expect the same from him in future.

Fourteen

The day went by very fast, before I knew it was walking home with Jade and Holly (We’re friends now) Chad stayed behind at school for some random excuse which didn’t make sense. I was really enjoying walking with Holly and she was a great person. I wasn’t sure if she was still friends with Jasmine or not (She emailed me some random s**t this morning by the way) and I could actually consider Holly a friend now instead of having this horrible image of her in my head. Her bullying me with Jasmine and Jenny (They disappeared somewhere). I went home for a quick snack and went to go meet up with Christian.           

            **Big Shock**

I sat at a café and stared up every time I saw a blue jacket. I was starting to freak out and my nerves were clear and out there for the public to see. 5 minutes later I got the shock of my life. Chad walked in wearing a blue jacket! A part of me was hoping he’d say hi and leave but I kind of knew that he was there for me. He greeted me and sat down. Then the confessions started:

 

Chad- Hi Jenna

Me- Hello, how are you?

Chad- A nervous wreck, you?

Me- A big ball of confusion

Chad- I guess I’ll explain then

Me- Maybe you should

Chad- I lied when I said I wasn’t Christian. See, Jade and I made this person up to play a prank on Jasmine. We thought it was Jasmine chatting since her second name was Jenna. As time went by I realised it was you and I wanted the truth to come out but you seemed so happy. Happier than you’ve ever been. I thought maybe you’d brush it off and I’d deactivate the account but I couldn’t live with the guilt!

Me- So you watched me make a fool out of myself, looking for someone and you knew all along?

Chad- Jenna I’m sorry. I don’t have any feelings towards you I swear and I think you’re better off with Jacob

Me- Yeah you’re right and I’m so better off without you Chad. Goodbye!

Fifteen

So after Chad’s stupid confession I stormed out. I didn’t even want to look at him in the eye after he lied to me to my face for a whole freaking year! Who does that? Which “best friend” does that?. I really thought he was my friend and I really thought he had my best interests at heart but clearly we both had 2 definitions of friend. I ran home, straight to my room and sobbed. Everything was going wrong!

After my sob session I went downstairs to get food. I saw that Aden was watching TV. Him and I never really spoke a lot but he knew that I really cared about him a lot. I decided to do something out of the ordinary. I sat next to my brother (On the same sofa) and watched TV with him. It was really fun. We watched some random Chinese movie and it was funny how he tried changing all the words into English. We had ice-cream and chocolate and he even let me watch anything I wanted. Like normal big brothers, he gave me the “I’m worried about you” talk:

 

Aden- Jenna, I heard you crying in your room earlier. Is something wrong?

Me- No, I found out some very interesting information today. I really don’t want to talk

Aden- That’s fine hey. But I’m glad to see you opening up now

Me- Aden, stop it! What happened to my annoying big brother?

Aden- He’s still in there, but this time he cares too much about his annoying little sister

And with that we had a laugh. I was glad that at least someone cared for me. Aden and I managed to stay up till 2 in the morning. I really didn’t feel like going to school in the morning but I figured I had to face Chad, Jade and Jacob eventually. I owed Jacob a long explanation because I missed our lunch date to sit through Chad’s crap.

 

           **Building A Bridge!**

The following morning I decided not to face the world so I switched off my phone (Which had 23 messages) and leave it at home. I figured I’d tell Jacob and Chad everything face to face instead of listening to yesterday’s problems. I had on my black hoodie with my black jeans and black shoes. I figured now would be the perfect time to go Emo/Goth. My hair was a mess and I didn’t really give a s**t at that point. Aden drove me to school but the car ride was a bit quiet and awkward because he had his headphones on.

Sixteen

The lessons flew by like a rocket ship on steroids and before I knew it, it was lunch break. Jacob came over to our table and asked if I could sit with him and his friends (The jocks) but I politely declined and promised him a walk after school. Jacob was really understanding so he just left.

 Jade apologized, Chad must’ve told her about yesterday and he asked if he could speak to me alone:

 

Chad- I don’t want to lose you as a friend Jenna. I’m really sorry about-

Me- It’ll take a whole lot more than just an “I’m sorry” Chad. You need to earn back my trust

Chad- I will, I never wanted to hurt you or-

Me- Stop being a b***h about it Chad. I know you better than anyone else here

Chad- True

Me- Exactly, I know that you don’t beg. So stop begging and give me a hug

I gave Chad a hug, I was doing what was right at the time.

 

He’s my best friend and I didn’t want to see him like that. Him and I had never let Kesha concert tickets get in the way of our friendship and we’ll certainly not let this little tiff break us. And besides, you know what they say “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” but in this situation, this didn’t kill me. It made me stronger and got me (Hopefully) a great boyfriend and even closer with my friends.

After school Jacob and I were walking home hand in hand and it was amazing. Although I couldn’t quit put my finger on our relationship status. Were we friends, or were we just an unofficial couple? Whatever we were, I’d be glad if he was in the picture. So at home I invited Jacob in to watch the game with me and Aden (To break the ice) and I could tell that Aden liked him. We watched the game, ate loads of popcorn and chips, had tons of soda and got major headaches and tummy aches. But in the end I was very happy that everything was finally going great.

       **Summer Vacation!**

Seventeen

It was summer vacation and I still didn’t know where Jacob and I were. I didn’t know if he felt the same way or if he or if he was being friendly (That would be a very weird form of “friendliness”) another thing that bothered me was that he still hadn’t given me a nickname.vi know I shouldn’t be stressing but he promised and I was a little tired of waiting around for him to come to his senses. Things with Chad and I were great. We buried the hatchet and moved on, and we are stronger than ever now. Jade and Holly are also close now and that made me very happy. Chandler came back for summer vacation and the little b***h that Aden was he told him about everything and I had to go through the “you’re too young to be with boys” talk again. As if mom hadn’t talked to me about that (She hadn’t really!)

 

It was a Friday when I finally decided enough was enough. It was the day I told Jacob how I really felt and I was not afraid anymore. I asked him to wait over at the café by my house so we could talk but I kind of caught him in front of the café before he even came in. He was about to walk in when I went straight at him and kissed him. Our lips together, it felt so unreal but still like reality. He didn’t seem to be backing away, instead he held me close to him. I backed away and it all unfolded:

 

Together- That was my first kiss!

Jacob- Well, for your first time that was great

Me- well if you still want more of those then you need to tell me something

Jacob- I like you Jenna. I’ve had a crush on you since I borrowed that ruler from you

Me- Which you still haven’t returned, but go on

Jacob- you’re the nicest girl I’ve ever met and I’d I was wondering if you’d want to be my girlfriend

Me (Total shock)- wow, you’re still asking after that kiss

And with that I kissed him again then he mumbled something under his breath. I asked him to repeat it then he said “Jennie Bear, Jen, Jay, Jenna, I told you to give me some time.” Then I realised that he did care enough to give me a nickname. I just loved him even more that minute and absolutely nothing in the world would separate him and I.

After our little moment of passion, I took Jacob home to meet my parents and this time everyone met him! We all had dinner around the table and I was happy that my family liked Jacob. Everything fell in to place afterwards.

“After high school Jacob and Jenna got in to the same college. Jade and Chad hit it on so they got together and had a baby (strange). Not everyone has the same definition of love but in the end, we all have the same happiness. The same joy in our hearts, that attraction we have weather physical or emotional. But in the end, love will always triumph anything and everything”

 

          **The End!**

Author's Note

Enjoy...

Reviews

[Not here]

i really like the formatting in it. and i think your writing is great. like everything, it can be improved upon, but the best way to gain skill as a writer is to keep writing, and you seem to be doing that for certain. keep up the good work.

one more thing: there is a way on here you can put the stories into a book, and have one chapter, and i think that would be the best way to have people read this. that way you can write longer chapters, and people will find it much easier to read.

whatever people tell you, keep writing what you love and what you would want to read. most of all, write for yourself. hope that helps :) keep it up

[Aphy!]

Thanx for the very positive review Dante really appreciate it. And I'll take your advice, it's the only way to make my audience happy with my work. I'll carry on writing and posting new things. Thanx again!

[MBUYISA]

its my second time reading this writing.....I can't get enough. thanks for sharing

[Aphy!]

Aww thank you. Glad u enjoyed it

[Sarah Wolfe]

I love how honest it feels, and so realistic. However, the formatting makes it somewhat difficult to read, although the font is cute. Perhaps it would be best to break it into chapters. I also like the stylistic choice to format texts differently from your own writing.

[Aphy!]

Thank you very much. And I'll change my difficult/cute font. Glad u enjoyed it :-)

[Philip Muls]

From the gut, I like it. Feels genuine and lived through.

[Aphy!]

thank you very much

[Zach]

Let's start with the positives: On the whole, your writing is good; and by 'writing' I mean your craftsmanship. Your ability to convey simple information is great. Too many times writers (and I'm guilty as well) get caught up trying to be flowery with their words. You didn't do this - which I think is a great quality. You have a gift for being able to convey information in a simple manner; that's fantastic. My only criticisms in this area are in regards to the adage of "show versus tell." If I tell you "I'm a jealous person," that's one thing. If my wife looks at another guy and I yell at her "am I not good enough for you?!" that's another. You see the difference? Many things that were told could be shown, allowing us to make simple connections with who your main character is.
Where your craftsmanship excels, your storytelling quality wanes. I soon found myself uninterested in your story - and I mean nothing offensive by this. I say this because I, as a reader, was given all the surface information and I didn't get a chance to learn or grow with the main character. Likewise, I didn't connect with the main character, and my interest in her love life quickly deteriorated. I think some more time spent looking for qualities readers can identify with could help; but that's just an opinion.
All in all, this wasn't a terrible story. I like the idea of two students who are searching for each other and only know each other through their fake identities. I think this has some potential, but right now, it's still very much in a first-draft stage. Good work Aphiwe! Keep it up.

[Aphy!]

Thank you very much Zach..and I take all that and I'll use it for the future. Thank you very much