Story of my Life

Just using an outlet to b***h. Just ignore.

I walk around like I don't let things bother me but really I happen to think I'm not all that pretty, and I've some how come to the conclusion that I'll live out the rest of my life without that special someone. I won't be able to have my own children or a family. With my luck if I do find myself a husband I'll probably not be able to have children. I have luck like that. I'll never have the courage to tell him that I like him, because I'm afraid of rejection. Rejection sucks. Flat out. My self esteem seems to have taken a turn for the worse even though I'm told I'm pretty all the time and the guy I am crushing on has told me twice that I'm beautiful when it's obvious that I am worried about the way I look. All my past serious boyfriends have kinda sucked. Evan just kinda left and I haven't heard from him for almost a year and Arlin just wasn't right for me. Having a 2hr argument on religion and how his religion is the one right religion while trying to explain that maybe all religions are right, but hey be close minded. I wish I was more aggressive when it comes to guys. I mean sitting in the car with him with that while really awkward silence sits between and his music sucks. I can't really come up with small talk when I'm around him. Whatever, I'll just muddle through it like always and just be content with shortcomings instead of the opportunities life throws at me.

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[Chelsea (Jade)]

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