Chapter Two

Syrese gets a peak into her past.

   As the darkness faded, a cottage appeared. There was a girl about the age of thirteen with sleek black hair the length of her mid-back, she was of adverge size with wide hips and clearly devloping brests. Her eyes were a light grey and they showed someone who was calm yet quick to react. She wore a dress that was decorated with many purple flowers,clearly a sunday dress. A woman called "Syrese, mid-day meal is ready come and change from your church clothes." A woman stood at the door of the cottage. Her strawberry blond hair up in a bun,with many perls decorating it. Her eyes were also a grey but much darker and showed power and wisdom, she wore a typical peasant dress with an apron around the front.

 

   Inside there was a simple white cloth over the dining table, a small cabinet that held their china and along the wall facing the windows was the painting of a man, arms wide holding a wooden staff. He had light brown hair with strains of white in it. His eyes were also a deep grey. A family took a seat at the table, the woman, who seemed to be the mother and a man, who seemed to be the father sat by eachother. The father had short,sleek, black hair just as Syrese did. On the opposite side sat Syrese and next to her a girl the age of ten, she stood out from all the others. Her hair was pure white, and her eyes had a tint of purple to the grey. She seemed as if something out of a fairy tale. Next to the girl was two boys, one the age of five with strawberry blond hair yet he had eyes of dark green, the other boy was fourteen, again with strawberry blonde hair but still with eyes of grey. The last child stood, he was a mirror image of his father but also the youngest, only three years of age.

 

   They spoke a prayer and started at their dinner. Then something crashed through the window and the youngest stood for a second, pain filled his eyes, then he fell foward. Dead. A small dagger stuck out of his back. The father quickly stood sweeping his hand across and formed a barrier that had a yellow tint to it. Many arrows flew, all deflected by his magical barrier, he yelled to his family "Go, escape out the backway!"

The mother grabbed the remaining children and snucked towards the back, the father exited through the front. A small amount of archers stood, behind them were warriors, and assassins scattered all along the yard hidden in the shadows. The man flung small beams from his fingers but they never reached their target, he stood by this unseen, unditected barrier. A split in the attackers was made and a man walked towards the father, an odd large red stone in his hand, as he got closer the the father's magic would not work and he fell to the ground in agony. As the man got closer the father's screams of pain got worse until he stopped a yard away, and spoke with an amused grin "Hello again Alson, you're looking rather well." Alson looked at him with pure hatred.

"Brigadier Byron...explain yourself." He struggled to say every word.

"It's General now!" he snapped "We haven't seen each other for a while now so I decided to give my old friend a vist." amusment filled his voice, he enjoyed every moment seeing his prey in pain "The king of Talroid has ordered us to capture any and all sorceres inside the kingdom." He paused and gave a wicked, snake-like smile "and so we came and tracked you and your family down." He waved a hand and three soilders came out carring the family, as they got closer the children let out screams of pain,all but Syrese and her green eyed brother.

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   I woke up to the sounds of crickets and soft talking. What was that? I wondered. It felt like a dream but it was so real. I tried to sit up but a strike of pain flowed through me, quickly Arthur came into my vision and pushed me back down "Stay still,the medicine hasn't had enough time to completely restore you." Another man hovered above me, considerbly younger he had dark brown hair,his eyes were a deep green. He wore the clothes of the forest dwelers,a brown shirt with ivy embroidery and trowsers of forest green. He saw the confusion on my face and started talking very quickly.

 "You had been drugged with Mesermane, a drug that boosts memory but also drains the life considerbly, without proper care it could possibly kill the taker, it is only known to the Veks, a highly intelegent creature that is exactly like the elves from story books,but they are of three feet tall." I strugled to keep up with his words then looked at Arthur.

"Why would I be given a memory booster?"

 

   He looked at me,examining my expression "I have my theory but only you can know for sure,I believe that the Veks have a need for you to remember something long forgotten. From the dose it would be something that would only come back to you in fragments." I layed, letting things sink in. So that must have been my own past,not a dream. I thought to myself.

"When will I be able to move once again?" I asked Arthur. He looked at the man.

"Keiju, with your magic added how long will it take?" He looked me over

"If I use my more powerful magic she should be healed by early morning." I looked at Keiju curiously and he smiled at me warmly "I'm an adept witch, so do not worry you are in good hands." Annoyance crossed my face and I dryly said

"Well if I'll be fine in the morning then I shall sleep." Keiju gave me a sad look then walked away,Arthur mearly sighed and went to his bed,not far from mine.

 

   I woke up at dawn to a bird chirping near my ear. I move to get up and there was no pain that had been there the night before, only stiffness. As I looked around it seemed as if someone,most likely Keiju, had been staying there for a while. Various herbs layed about, some I knew,but others were strange to me. Clothes hung from a line, all Keiju's typical clothing, and a small firepit that was filled with black ash. I looked over to where Arthur lay, he was fast asleep. A man from the royal castle is able to sleep soundly in the forest? I looked to the forest. I could run and no one would be able to find me, I'm healed so they have no reason to keep me alive. I started towards the forest.

 

   Someone jumped and landed right behind me "Hello M'lady,you look well." It was Keiju. I turned to face him,clearly knowing I had been caught. "The forest is no place for a lady with no training or experence, it is very unforgiving." He turned and sat next to the ash pit and gestured me over, I obeyed and sat across from him. He ran his fingers through his curly hair as he spoke "I understand why you would want to run away but trust me we won't hurt you one bit...and..ah..uh" He shifted uncomfortably "What is your name?" I blinked, not expecting this question.

"Arthur didn't tell you my name?" He shook his head.

"There was no time when he brought you to me, I had to work fast just to make sure you lived." I sat for a moment wondering why exactly had Arthur saved me.

I looked at the witch and flatly said "Syrese." He stared at me surprised but then smiled

"Pleased to meet you Syrese."

 

   I gave Keiju a look of disaproval and his smile disapeared "Why is it..um..you seem not to like me?" I looked at him in the eyes and fear filled them.

"You are a witch,able to practice your black arts freely, while the 'others' have to hide." He nodded.

"Syrese, I am hiding, not because of what I practice, but because of who I am." He lifted his hair to show a pointed ear "I am a Metsä Tonttu. A hybrid, a fusion of man and Vek, for that I am an outcast from both races." I stared at him, symphathy rising from the pits of my stomach and he smiled sadly "Syrese, I have spent a lifetime being rejected by people for who I am, don't let me be denied by a possible friend for what it is I do." A tear seemed to be forming but it never got the strength to fall. I stood and placed my hand on his shoulder.

"you saved me, and I thank you for that, but I am not the kind of person people would like as a friend."

 

   I heard a movement behind me that made me jump and Arthur spoke "You are solely basing that off of what you are Syrese, that you are unable to control." He came and brushed hair out of my face. "Many people would be proud to call you a friend dispite that." He saw my confusion and whispered 'Your grey eyes will tell many stories one day." Before I could once again open my mouth to ask a question, he threw me something wrapped in cloth and handed me a bag, Keiju stood and saw my confusion.

"Today we're headed towards a secret place." He said cheerfully.

Reviews

[Kuro]

"of the cottage her strawberry blond" new sentence after cottage

"typical pesant dress " peasant*

"small cabnite that" cabinet*

"wooden staff, he had light" staff. He had...

"white in it. Again his" white in it, and his eyes were also a deep grey.

"Next to the girl was two boys, one the age of five with strawberry blond hair yet he had eyes, the other boy was fourteen again with strawberry blonde hair but still with grey eyes." I think I see what you are trying to do here. In my mind the best way to phrase this would be: "Sitting next to the girl were two young boys. Though both had the same strawberry blonde hair and grey eyes, they were of different ages. One looked to be five and the other fourteen."

" also the youngest only three" I feel like there should be a comma after "youngest"

"and snuck towards the back the back, the father " sneaked* and the repetition of "the back"

""Go, escape out the backway!" The mother grabbed the remaining children and snuck towards the back the back, " New paragraph after the dialog.

"A small amount of archery stood, behind them were warriors, and assassins scattered all along the yard hidden in the shadows." Out front there were a small amount of archers. Behind them were...

" now so i decided " I*

"closer all the children" closer the children... try not to use the same word twice in one sentence.

"soft talking what " talking. What...

" I wondered (.) (I)t felt like a dream but it was so real(.) I tried to" when the character is thinking to themselves try to make that thought its own sentence. Italicize it still but make it its own sentence.

"face and started and started talking" repetition again xP

"and i dryly" I*
"some i knew"

"fast asleep(.) A man"

" but he was no doubt asleep, " Try not to begin a sentence with "but" I'm not sure how to rephrase this one however try to get rid of it if you can.

"the forest(.) I could run and no one would be able to find me, I'm healed so they have no reason to keep me alive(.) I started towards the forest."

"he shook his head(.)"

"...the "others" have..." when you have quotes inside quotes use the ' instead of "
so something like this "...the 'others' have..."

"'Syrese, I am in hiding but not because of what I practice but because of who I am.'"
I am hiding, not because of what I practice, but because of who I am.* Again same word in one sentence.

" lifetime being regected by people" rejected*
" me be regected by a" for this second time try to use another word to avoid repeating yourself. Something to the effect of shunned or denied

"'you saved me from and I thank you for that,but I am not the kind of person people would like as a friend.'" capitalize Y in You and... saved her from...? if you mean to have her stutter or something to that effect use "..." or "-" to show that she is cutting herself off. " You saved me from..." I stuttered for a moment, "I thank you for that." "You saved me fro-" I cut myself off, willing to continue I said, "I thank you for that." but if you just forgot a word or something then just ignore what you just read. xP

Cliffhanger D; Can't wait for chapter 3 ^-^ oh and one more thing. I noticed you have a lot of non-English words if you can include a pronunciation guide ether in the beginning of the chapter for new words, or in your authors note. Like something you could find in a dictionary xP Also I noticed there is more description of the setting in this chapter, keep up the good work ^-^

[Philppa]

Dx ahh so many typos. I was typing this late at night plus I wasn't feeling to fresh so that may explain why some things are how they are. Again thanks for the advice and I'll be sure to edit this chapter as well. Don't worry though I'm putting up chapter 3 soon and as soon as I finish chapter 4 I'll put it up as well.

"Next to the girl was two boys, one the age of five with strawberry blond hair yet he had eyes, the other boy was fourteen again with strawberry blonde hair but still with grey eyes." I think I see what you are trying to do here. In my mind the best way to phrase this would be: "Sitting next to the girl were two young boys. Though both had the same strawberry blonde hair and grey eyes, they were of different ages. One looked to be five and the other fourteen."

thank you for pointing out this to me. I forgot to put in a very important detail and that's why it is very confusing to read. the boy is supposed to have green eyes.

[Kuro]

Ah ok that would make sense. I tend to change things as I'm writing so sometimes I'll miss a detail or two so no worries xP Now that you mention that he is supposed to have green eyes I remember that later on it said there was a kid with green eyes and that didn't register until now.

Writing late at night... I know the feeling xP

Looking forward to chapter 3 =D

[Philppa]

you my friend have made me more excited about writing than I have been in a long time

[Kuro]

-zelda music- You got motivation!