Barbed Shards of Shattered Dreams

Barbed Shards of Shattered Dreams

Barbed shards of shattered dreams

Have strewn the wake of my existence,

And aspirations chaotically constructed

Upon egocentric scorching shifting sands

Exposed the black spiritless vacuum

That lay within my wretched hardened heart.

 

Thus, in silent humble prayer of desperation

I surrender my iniquitous shame stained spirit

Into Your healing arms of graceful understanding

Asking forgiveness and redemption for my soul

That I may lay aside all secular dispositions

To acquiesce in obedience unto You.

 

Phillozofee

Reviews

[Helen Woodward]

Hi Phill, firstly I am so happy to see you back here :) This piece has repentance written boldly throughout the text and it sounds to me as if you are being hard on yourself my friend, but because of the personal nature of it I will abstain from any more of that talk. It is a beautiful humbling prayer of love for God and the willingness to do his will, which to me is just so wonderful, my heart skipped a beat as I said the prayer out loud.
Thank you, I am proud to be your friend...
Helen...

[Dave "Doc" Rogers]

Nice work.

One critique and that is on the last line. Should it be "... the obedient ..." or "... obedience ..."?

Cheers,
Doc.
/CWG Moderator.

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Yes ... you are right ... amended as per ... thank you for the great review and critique!

[Bubo]

Such an in-depth, beautiful prayer.......of giving and surrender to heal...........it lifts me just to see you here, with such a wonderful piece.......giving and never asking........search for peace, and hope.

[Gandré]

this is how Mephisto would feel. I totally loved this poem. the black spiritless vacuum - such a strong image. The healing arms are within yourself. The poem is a wonder about power of belief! I loved the first stanza. The second stanza made me wonder. Obedient unto You - I thought, he has courage. I do not.

[Ladysue]

Hi Phill, it has a been a long time. This touched me and your words spoke very humbly. A very poignant piece of writing with a wonderful spiritual sense of being.

[Sheila Marie Carr]

Wow! you have such a spiritual way of expressing such power, Iam in awe of this write and it really touched my soul. This is so beautiful

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Hi Phil!
It is so good to read you again. I read this as a prayer and i pray the same ..
It is beautiful like a Psalms.

Chloe

[Emily B]

I noticed your read request last night just as I was getting ready to wander off to bed. And I almost put the reading of your piece off until today, but then I thought about how long it had been since you'd requested anything of me. Your words spoke to me, to the very core of me. I was glad that I hadn't put off reading your words. And in a strange way, just as glad that the site ate my first review, so that I would have the opportunity to come back and read again this morning.

Thanks so much!

[Emily B]

I left a whole lovely review and it's gone now . . . I'll be back tomorrow :)