On Cloud Nine

Just a bit of dark humour

On Cloud Nine

In a state of blissful happiness

Oblivious to the crowd,

She gathered up her feelings

That had scattered on the ground.

 

For another chance of romance

Had ascended from above,

An extraordinary opportunity

Came down for her to fall in love.

 

As through the skylight window

A dazzling parachutist fell

Onto her four post Chas lounge

She knew how to make him well.

 

With Nightingale style comfort

She caressed his sweating brow

And snapped shut the metal shackles

For he was all hers now!

 

Phillozofee @ 2008

Reviews

[Gandré]

The majority of your poetry is written in meter, you have a slightly different relation to the line than you did at the beginning when I started to read you, when a large part of writing was writing of Haikus and senryus and small quotes I like that you never do this "obsessive line break" it lets me feel harmony in the whole expression. Now, you tend to put more energy into what comes in the middle of lines, in essence, every foot in a line of metrical poetry has its own very little line break at the end-not to mention the longer pause, the caesura like here: "Came down for her to fall in love.", which falls once or twice within most lines of metrical poetry. Very nice writing. Loved it!!

[Ladysue]

ha! this did give me a bit of a chuckle...very well written with a great flow...

[Carrie Montgomery]

quite funny! I enjoyed this very much- needed the little smile it gave me.
"she gathered up her feelings that had scattered on the ground" this line stood out to me: I could just picture a woman pulling herself back together and "plotting" on her "next victim"!