Fool Am I ...

For a contest

Fool am I ...

Glancing over my shoulder

I caught her staring out the windowpane,

It stopped me in my tracks

My soul spellbound once again,

From cascades of silken amber tresses

Dancing down a porcelain fair face,

To frame those pastel eyes of powdery green.

 

And pressed up closer to the glass

I noticed parted trembling lips of rosy pink

Mouth undecipherable words towards my heart

For it was not rain running down her cheeks

But teardrops I had caused for being rash

Fool am I to cause such needless thoughtless pain

So running to her arms, I fled again!

Reviews

[Fabian G. Franklin]

( Look darling, its Phil Oz O'fee, the craftiest poet there since Pablo Neruda they say. What do you think darling? Should I hate him? ..."You don't even know him."...I know, that's true, but there's just something about him, something around the lines; reminds me of...ME! No...I'm sure of it, I hate him. ) lol lol great job on this, just feeling like Holiday today. :o)

[Gandré]

This was your style....so I love it, when you write like this!

[Jenny Davis]

A woman is so complex, but beautiful, just like you've painted her. I think men are perpetually making mistakes...but not to worry, we are very forgiving...I'm sure she does! This is an excellent piece, Phill :)

[Belinda Rice]

this is a great peace the way you speake one here so gracfuly noce job wonderfulu penned

[Nicholas Hallows]

I was really surprised when I read this. Very pleasantly surprised, I'd like to add.
This is very different from a lot of your more philosophical pieces - in a good way.
Sometimes I find the more philosophical pieces don't paint as clear pictures as this does. Great images and fitting vocabulary. Also shows great diversity,
Very well done!
NH

[The Outlaws' Song]

Beautiful Magic!!!! Such a soft, gentle, romantic piece!! This is wonderful!!!

[[untitled]]

Can I ever identify with this!!! I am always impressed with your work Phill, but this is outstanding. Your prose is written in the third person which for this piece is correct, not only that, but you have told a story (beginning/middle/end) in two stanzas...I loved it and it brought an unwanted tear or two...she sounds so beautiful, the porcelain skin and those long tresses...nice one, congrats, I hope you win the award!
Helen xx

[Sheila M]

What a lovely piece. Beautifully written! Well done.

[Brianna Brie]

This is a touching piece with that special magic. Bravo!

[James K. Blaylock]

Wow, I loved this deeply heartfelt piece, my friend. Doesn't it suck that allow such ugliness to come from our mouth... only to wish we never uttered them in the first place.

jkb

[Illegitimate Artist]

You're imagery is just to absolutely die for! Your words just seem to dance! Love it!