Grumpy Graham

Something more light-heartening...

Grumpy Graham

Grumpy Graham was a grizzly mean pain

Living a recluse down Bare Bottom Lane

A note on the gate of his raggedy reside

Was spitefully hung faded and cockeyed

‘No visitors’ it read are welcomed in here

Unless you are giving away pints of beer

Unfortunately his place beside Local Park

Attracts neighbourhood kids having a lark

And on one occasion I particularity recall

He deliberately pitch forked their football

They accidentally kicked it over his fence

But Graham treated it as criminal offence

Thus animosity between them commenced

Kids determined to gain some recompense

So a plan was devised to get Grumpy back

Involving excrement and a large paper sack

That night they followed dog owners around

Collected results laying fouled on the ground

Having acquiring enough of this smelly mess

Sweet revenge could now be fully addressed

On that fateful moonlight night they waited

Until all Graham’s home activity had abated

Creeping to front door with their bag of mire

They proceeded to set the paper sack on fire

Ringing the doorbell than taking quick flight

To conceal and hide themselves out of sight

The lights came on and there was a screech

As Graham shouted out unprintable speech

Spying culprits delights of barely audible glee

Turned to hysterical laughter at the next scene

For socking clad stomping atop flaming pyre

Saw poor old Graham trying to put out the fire

The moral of this account is very plain to see

Be kind to near neighbours and all try to agree

Sheer sunshine happiness is vital to transmit

Or end up like Graham all covered in hot s**t

Copyright @ Phillozofee 2020

Reviews

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Haaaaaa!- a ripe fable for the telling Phill! Loved every clever, well-paced and rhymed verse! Great imagery and a story that amuses from beginning to end. Laughed out loud with last two lines! Very relevant lesson to be learned here- as only you can teach it. Kudos!

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Than you very much Annette...wonderful review my friend...bless... :-)

[Carola]

what a great laugh!!! 😄 love the rhyme.
i enjoyed this fable immensely, adults sometimes forget that kids are pretty inventive when it comes to retaliation.
cheerio carola

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Thanks Carola - glad you liked my 'wicked' sense of humour! Stay safe and well my friend...:-)

[Carola]

i would love to write something funny like you, so far that has eluded me. i think i'm too serious.

[Robert Trakofler]

thank you Phil this made me laugh to no end! oh my god this is great perfect poetic parody penning!!! LOL

[emmajoy]

This is such naughty silliness and am sitting , big smile on face after laughing so loudly, almost drowned the noise of the wind romping past midnight up in the loft! This is so unlike you but that alone shows the academic's cheeky grin.

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Funny fables... I must try a few more of these...glad it brought a smile to your face...:-)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

crappy personalities yield crappy results ----a really fun ride...
Makes me want to knock on Graham's door and plead with him to get "Nice"--
and buy those kids a new football.
j.

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Ha ha ...know 'exactly' how you feel...cheers for the review my friend ... bless ... :-)