Lorelei

From German Folklore …

Lorelei

Precipitous perching

on satin seat

Atop a high

scarred stone face vista

Luminously

silvery albescent clothed

Adorned with wreath

of shining stars

Entwining

wind blown golden locks

Lorelei awaits

her next succumbent

Exquisite

staggering physical beauty

Complimented

a sweet siren’s song

So hauntingly

hypnotic to seafarers

That no sailor

could resit her charms

But reaching

this nymph was deadly

All losing lives

on rough ragged rocks

Copyright @ Phillozofee 2018

Author's Note

Today, a statue of Lorelei watches over the treacherous stretch of water near Sankt Goarshausen.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This is a thing of perfection! I love your poem & how it goes with the artwork, and also the well-known myth. Your words are lyrical & haunting. The poem is a little bit like a siren, blaring out dramatic descriptions of her beauty, then the final capture is only briefly touched on. Love it all! (((HUGS))) Fondly Margie

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Thank you so much Margie - I tried to keep as close as possible to the legend (poetically that is) - :-)

[john l smith]

This is very nicely done
How many innocents have paid the price for her ruined romance

[H L Rose]

It doesn't feel like you need any of those unimportant words like “a” and “the” to make your poem make sense and be impactful. Each word is important. Like in

“scarred stone face vista
Luminously
silvery albescent clothed
Adorned with wreath
of shining stars
Entwining
wind blown golden locks”

It's simply packed full of just the important words yet nothing gets lost in translation. And it's like super effective and totally draws your reader in. I'm totally in love with these lines. I'm not so good at doing this which is why it has caught my eye. You got perfect word choice and know how to get around without those extra words. I'm jealous. I'll need to practice more. Thanks for this awesome example of getting rid of those filler words!

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Oh my goodness - I'm humbled by your review! Sending you a thousand smiles in appreciation - :-)

[H L Rose]

😆 😆 😆

[Cobblestone Traveler]

Very eloquent and smooth! I love alliteration and you utilized it beautifully. Nicely done.

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Thank you for your kind review … :-)

[emmajoy]

Such a haunting tale, both alluring and alarming, Phil. Your vocabulary jumps such high hurdles too.. my fingers are tired from turning the Thesaurus' pages! Myths such as the Lorelei's have become a powerful phrase for such beautiful women who worm their way into men's hearts then.. cause their downfall Am wondering where the same can be seen of a man!? Grand poetry.

[Phill Oz O'fee]

My humble thanks Emma - a bright review to start my day - bless you. PS … must investigate the male aspect as you suggested … have a good day my friend! :-)

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

I love legends and folklore. Your words conjure very hauntingly beautiful yet deadly visions...A lovely poem indeed!

[Phill Oz O'fee]

So glad you liked my write - thank you! :-)

[Dhara_Ditzy Kat]

You are welcome :)

[LazerRays]

This reminded me of the Greek mythology story of the sirens. This was very fun to read and definitely got me smiling like a child. These stories take me way out of this world :P

[Phill Oz O'fee]

I'm always somewhere outside this world - thanks for sharing your lovely review - :-)

[Weeping willow]

Beautiful write, love the flow and the images it paints with words ;-]

[Crowley]

The legend and the truth sometimes not so far from each other. Men are all day suckers when it comes to that kind of beauty, the problem is, rocks are just rocks. Great writing!!!!

[Annie Gryphon]

i like it very much. It has something dark and mysterious and it reminds me of the rocks at the rhine south of Bonn - how dark and silent they are at night.

[Phill Oz O'fee]

So happy to have poetically reminded you of this place = :-)

[Kelly Scheppers]

A most lovely tribute, Phill. I would guess it is most impressionable to see in public. You've made quite an impression here, for us Americans!

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Gracious words - thank you so much! :-)