Waste Not Thy Birthright

Attempt at a sonnet format .......

Waste Not Thy Birthright

In each birthright passed down to our offspring

Will there be joy, or sad downfall bequeathed

There seems a theme to lost control of things

Enwreathed with greed in few callous wild beasts

Ignored pain cries of sea, the air and soil

Tempt fate’s assault on those too blind to see

Next now the signs of rot and waste decay

Stealth in unseen or just not worth decreed

What holds us back to act in ways precise?

And turn from sloth lifestyles of cold neglect

Address we must the clear main point advice

To keep and help get back our self respect

We need to make pristine this gift bequest

A world that’s clean and our children blessed

Copyright @ Phillozofee 2018

Author's Note

Well .. had a go at sonnet format!!

Reviews

[sette]

the format is a sonnet so it was done wonderfully but what captured my interest is the depth and content of the poem shows the uniqueness in each and everyone of us that despite the many craziness in this world we are still aiming for something different something simpler something reachable not only for us but for the many generations to come.

[Phill Oz O'fee]

A kind and insightful review - my many thanks your way - :-)

[sette]

you are welcome

[barleygirl]

I admire your efforts to craft a sonnet (which I find intimidating), but I’m not relating strongly to your message this time around. Maybe it’s becuz I feel I got no birthright myself & then I never had kids becuz I wasn’t too wild about whatever measly crumbs I might have to pass on. In a weird twisted way, I guess I didn’t waste my birthright, which wasn’t a good one at all. Interesting how this can be interpreted from many different directions! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Thank you my friend - always appreciate your reviews - bless :-)

[Vivian Fisk]

I absolutely loved this:
There seems a theme to lost control of things
Enwreathed with greed in few callous wild beasts

The "things" that we need to live are, as you say, "enwreathed," tangled, co-opted, arbitraged, virtually stolen from our control, and now in the hands of a “few callous beasts.” This, in my opinion, was very masterful.

[Phill Oz O'fee]

A humbling review indeed - many thanks my friend! And - your opinion is appreciated! :-)

[Chris Shaw]

Incredible photograph, I love it. You have the structure of a sonnet and the content is very meaningful. We are destroying our planet. The message is slowly getting through, but sometimes I think we have inflicted so much damage that future generations will curse us. This is a good attempt, I always read mine out loud to hear the drum beat of a sonnet. that's the only way I can tell if I am anywhere near it with the flow, because sometimes they can sound stilted. 10 syllables a line, check your second stanza first line for syllable count. I'd take out the word today, it will still read well. I very much enjoyed the read phill which is a subject close to my heart. Thank you.

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Thank you Christine for your kind words and instructive review - bless - :-)

[Chris Shaw]

You are very welcome.