Death & Small Pieces

Death & Small Pieces

I cannot swallow the largeness of your leaving
The stiffness of your lips concealing a low rumbled laughter
that tightens & cannot pass your teeth.

My throat cannot open large enough for you to fill me,
so I tender you into a large prairie behind my eyes.
Now you are privy to my secrets & to the wild flowers
I scatter for you to sleep upon.

Stars open in my eyes & you may see our daughter.
She is your duplicate & armed with honor & compassion.
She weaves an ivory future & if you look through me closely,
you may watch her climb her life in ranger boots & curly hair.

Are you listening to the way I honey your description
in a slow sweetness to everyone ,that lost you in pieces.
I restore their memory and they walk away, each believing
their reality of you.

If sometimes from your prairie, you see me in a desert,
my face stricken in the slam of a too real moment,
pass me a soft violet, that I saw you slip through.
The one bright with sun, the one dipped in blue.

Reviews

[LJW]

Unquestionably the most beautifully and originally-written piece regarding the death of a husband/father I have ever read.

Thank you W. Kortas for again directing me to a writer with substance and ability.

I second the comment he made...brilliant.

I will be back to read more of your work to be sure.

( I came back to edit the review to add that you received the first 100 rating I have given a writer on this site. )

[Clockwork]

This is one of the best tribute poems I have ever read. What is really special is that he lives on with you. When I read your words he is alive in them in a very really way even though I did not know him personally. It is like both of you are bringing the images in this poem to life, and that is truly beautiful.

[Through the Gateway]

I dare not cheapen the beauty of this poem with hamfisted words. Simply, I wish to say that this is one of the most beautiful pieces I have ever read.

[cest la vie]

This piece was requested to me by a fellow writer. I have not the adequate words to describe the feeling and depth of this achingly beautiful write. Simply put- Bravo..

[Jibey]

Beautiful, moving and memorable... Thank you

[LR Young]

It's hard to not just repeat what others have said and it all bears repeating. But I will do my best to express what sprang open for me, on reading:

"so I tender you into a large prairie behind my eyes." I am always drawn to these kinds of realities: the landscapes we carry around with us. The need to scour and search and in the end find nowhere is better than here, (and in fact there is no where to go at all) to pick up the pieces. The wildflowers you lay out to harbor an identity in fragments. And a daughter. Just Lovely.

[Doctor JKC]

I just lost my best friend, my mother.
The loss of a wanted husband is tragedy
abounding.
Your daughter sounds lovely and full
of life.
A gorgeous piece but I wish you did
not have to write it and he lived.
Thank you,
Dr. Jack

[:)]

This is an endearing piece. Your descriptions provide me the direction I need to really see what you are saying.. To dream dreams of long lost past is so beautiful and sorrowful at the same time. I will be sending this to my neighbor who lives across the street. She will communicate with this piece at the personal level and I know it will bring some comfort in her heart. :)

Thank you for sharing..

[Marie Anzalone]

I will not try to remake the perfection of this piece in words, nor describe its beauty in metaphors. The images in this are astounding, and the grief is so achingly real I can reach out and touch it, embrace it if I want. I can feel the sense of loss, the way you want to move through the world, carrying this man's memory with you. The image of letting him see the world, and his daughter in it, through your eyes, is brilliant. Coming to terms with your loss of him, giving him the prairie, the wildflowers, is a genuinely loving and compassionate gesture.

This is truly one of the most heartfelt poems I have read on this site. I have nothing to critique- please accept my honest admiration for your words. If this is real, may you find solace in the violet until it is your turn to slip through that door painted twilight.

[R J Askew]

Great stuff. I like the notion of the prairie behind the eyes. Is it the soul? The seeing through your eyes and the continuity in your daughter is touching. So we continue and are in our turn the continuance of a great, great many others.

[Kevin Vorshak]

A deeply written and heartfelt piece, Phibby. 'That lost you in pieces' strikes me as describing a slow, wasting death. I love the contrast in the final stanza how you weave in the desert from his prairie. Truly a somber, but brilliant piece of writing. I really loved this.