The Despite Clause

The Despite Clause

You are older now & still angry
at the half baked cake of your life.
You believe I pocketed the lucky charms
from the family fortune & that I smile so much
because I have no troubles;
I have none that you have ever noticed.
But I love you, despite the fact,
that you cannot wish me well,
that you believe my life is a vista,
my whole world a vacation,
even when I wade in grief or cry,
you see a magic formula pouring from my eyes.
And I love you, because I know you are still waiting
for the opportunities to knock.
Your dreams lie dormant with a boneless
sullen sound & you have pruned your life
toward tomorrow winnings.
You will never see me today.
My hand in down feathers stroking your brow.
My feelings passed your way in a million gestures.
And I am kind to you, but you see condescending.
And I defend you but you look for the lock catch.
So I have added a despite clause.
It is for my own protection.
It is to wipe away the pain when I smile
and you see a smirk.
It says that I love you
past the impossible paranoia & suspicion,
past the blood love forced on families.
It says I love the way you looked
when we were small..
your small fingers pointing
into a summer sky,
your face a wreath of trusting child.

Reviews

[Marie Anzalone]

For to love those who grow inwardly suspicious of life's bounty, no matter who they are, it is best to remember them as an eternal child. Moving through the world in wonder with eyes that can still see hope for the future. How sad indeed to deal with someone you loved who has become closed from bitterness and betrayal.

This is a beautiful poem, full of painful longing. I can feel the resignation as you write in the despite clause to your emotional tome of life. Was it written in tears or blood, I wonder? It doesn't matter, for the hand that wrote it was graceful and acknowledging.

I am glad I stopped by here- thank you for putting some lovely imagery down on proverbial paper. I hope you never stop trying to love this person.

[Lola Nation]

another great write, glad I came across your work!

[Rc R. Vagilidad]

Reminds me of my childhood. How I wish I could turn back time and feel the essence of being innocent.

After all, the title "the despite clause" still intrigued me. It is so wonderful, mind to ponder. A phrase put in to a noun makes an edible, subtle juxtaposition of something to define, yet it makes you still think of its meaning, so deep and tasteful. I love this in all its usual Family issues defined vividly, the sound of a broken relationship of something to make up with who ever that person.... that you longed him/her to be what of childhood has offered that has gone to something mature and delinquent. "As of betrayal comes forth its reasons."

[LJW]

You moved me to tears with this.

It is about my brother. It is. It surely is.

I have pictures of he and I as small children all around the house. I do not remember us when we were that young, and that is perhaps why I have chosen to frame them and have them be the only ones of him I put out. We are smiling. He must have loved me then.

"even when I wade in grief or cry,
you see a magic formula pouring from my eyes."

"My feelings passed your way in a million gestures."

"It says I love the way you looked
when we were small..
your small fingers pointing
into a summer sky,
your face a wreath of trusting child."

Never has a poem writtten by someone else hit me so close to home.

[Kerry]

...you have pruned your life
toward tomorrow winnings.

Love the way your words dance in this piece. The seem to sing a song of sadness that echoes from beginning to end and yet, there is a hint of hope, a hint of something more. Oddly enough, it reminds me of a relative who is exactly like your poem in almost every way. Nicely done!

[raining]

This is plain good. The repetativeness, the sincerity and the outrightedness (excuse that word) brings to life the charactor of gthe poet as well as what the poet is writing. The relationship between the two charactors is incredible. I was attempting to "see" who the younger person was throughout the poems reading. Younger brother, friend, or son/daughter?

The ending is exceptional. though i wanted to stop the poem, beautifully, at "your small finger pointing into a summers sky". (not that the rest wasnt good, just that was how my minds eye read it. I feel that the last line is over-explination of a sort.) I could of course be wrong, probably am, but otherwise i give the poem an A+.

[Ed Hart]

every lost soul should be so fortunate, but maybe they are, ultimately...

[W.k.kortas]

And so we love them forever and unconditionally, as though we were pets with a safety net. Judicious use of repetition, wonderful pacing. Just the right mix of wistfulness and resignation.

[Emily B]

ohhhh, that last line . . . the whole thing is excellent but the last line made me sigh a little for blood ties gone extinct through suspicions and sullen paranoia. Wonderful writing.