The Exhaustion

The Exhaustion

I have fallen drunk with exhaustion across a braided cover
& awakened to the nuance of middle night,
the stars flung like jackrocks across the open sky
the horizon migrated with fog, and I have searched for you
It is as useless as the vapors of dew
I cannot see anything for the details, small life screws
that turn relentlessly for processing
It is hanging drapes that drop, first one side, then the other
It is the mailman, his car, a mast of amounts due
And the sun is shining, Yes. Indeed!
because I force it to obedience & turn my mouth accordingly
Because I kick shadows with my rain boots & build fires,
and make fresh coffee & sing top volume to the radio,
and yes, it is my favorite song!
But I am alone. In a dozen, or a hundred, I yield
my maverick heart to the crowd, and I stampede
with the best of them, but really, really, really,
it is simply this..
I am a natural survivor, with too much to miss.

Reviews

[LJW]

Sometimes putting on that brave face, that masked bravado, if we do it enough times, changes us into that strong person we think we can only pretend to be.

Excellent message, beautifully put.

[Greg the Bard]

I found myself counting the "I's","and's" and "It's as I read this very meaningful work. "I have" could be good if replaced with the word "having".
Take a look at the following

Haven fallen drunk with exhaustion across a braided cover
Awakened to the nuance of middle night
Stars flung like jack rocks across the open sky
The horizon migrated with fog, and searched for you in jest
It is as useless as the vapors of dew
Seeing not the details of life's small screws
Relentlessly processing as they turn with time
Hanging drapes that drop, first one side, then the other
It is the mailman, his car, a mast of amounts due
And the sun is shining, Yes. Indeed!
I force it to obedience and turn my mouth accordingly
I kick shadows with my rain boots and build fires,
Fresh coffees aroma as I sing top volume to the radio,
Yes, it is my favorite song!
But alone I stand in dozens or hundreds
I yield my maverick heart to the crowd,
And stampede with the best of them,
It is simply this..
I am the natural survivor,with too much to miss

I hope you don't hate me for the rewrite. I do not do that as a rule but your work is so good I just couldn't help it. I have an editor for my work and she fell in love with this because the images are so startling. Believe me this should be published and soon. During the times this country is going thru, this hits the nail on the head.Everything we are and hope to be is in this work. Wonderful. Just wonderful.

[Toni Prehoda Kahler]

I love this piece!!! Everything about it is surprising and fresh. I absolutely love the strength and vigor of this line: "Because I kick shadows with my rainboots & build fires"
You provide rich scenes for setting, rich descriptions for your truths, and then close them without any pretense - this is so satisfying to read.

[raining]

finding myself begining the middle part of the night, i relate to the voice of the exhausted euphoria...soon it will be the grey light time when at 4:30 the amnesia of sleep finally comes...i can relate to this poem very well and live it constantly

small life screws was good, i could see the hanging drapes falling first one then the other side. the poem is "colored" well even though it is about exhaustion and i presume, sleeplessness, thanks good very good, raining...

[Brown Bull]

Back at the turn of the Century just passed, life it is said was much easier than it is now as approach the 10% mark of the current one. In those days the mailman delivered the mail two times a day... on foot!

[Isolophobe]

I really love the diction here.

"the stars flung like jackrocks across the open sky"

Thats a great line.

[Emily B]

thank goodness for the natural survivors. Those who try and fail and rest and carry on again. Where would the sun be without those brave souls?