Rain Song on Holston

Rain Song on Holston

There is an island called Alimony Hill
that lies in the curve of the Holston.
The men gather for comparsions
of censored paychecks & lounge
with sympathetic women.
They believe they have children
that chew on check stubs
and wives that spend frivolously.
There are verbatim frogs on a drop over bank
that sing the men over to the saucered island.
Crickets listen by the campfire that sighs
blue smoke to the summer sky.
Coolers sprout from the soft earth
as men wave hairy hands of explanations.
Someday they may capture a wild family that fits
into this man made paradise.
But they doubt it.
For now, they are content to offer exclamations
to the gods of river fun.
They roll into the sleeping bags with warm women.
It is a long time till morning.
Too soon, the sun will break through the wet fog
to find them staring in a study
at the Jerusalem clouds, plain and white
as a work day.

Reviews

[Ed Hart]

you just churn 'em out like there's nothing to it...what a wonder to be so used by the gods of music and words and wisdom...

[Water Blakmon]

I like your level! I had to drink in the title to get the full gist of the poem. Something I tend to do in my work. I try not to go into deep interpretations of people's work, but it seemed like more resentment and sarcasm in the tone of this piece then sympathy. Regardless, it's very creative!

(Fav lines)
"The men gather for comparisons
of censored paychecks & lounge
with sympathetic women.
They believe they have children
that chew on check stubs
and wives that spend frivolously."

[W.k.kortas]

Part Pinocchio's Pleasure Island, part Big Rock Candy Mountain. Has an edge yet a certain odd sympathy at the same time. What the rest of us would give to write stuff like this.