Absent

sad

Absent

Jump back into the skin and flesh of you.
There are no features like the ones you wore.
Do not let pain and sorrow push you out
into some space or time I cannot find
I brace my face but still it breaks into
a scattered hopeless search for something flown,
some essence that leans just beyond my touch.
It does no good to look inside your shirt.
I can not find you in the dreams of sleep.
Not at the wide screen race shown in the bar.
Not changing oil or checking out the tires.
They even took the house back where we lived.
I wandered room to room before they did,
and still I walked into a hopeless blind.
Not on the couch, not sitting on the steps.
Not feeding the wild fox or deer outside.
Not in the basement working with your tools.
There is a total absence here of you.
I am a total absence without you.

Reviews

[J.Lynne958]

This paints an amazing picture of loss. Wow. Absolutely beautiful. I can feel the pain of the absence as I read it. Keep writing. You have a gift.

[Daniel Atkinson]

Too many people know what this feels like, and you did a great job of capturing it. A+ work.

[Helen Crutchett]

Oh Phibby, this is really sad. You penned this so well and I certainly felt the loss of the one you loved.

"I am a total absence without you". A heartwrenching ending my friend.

Thank you for "Keeping the Dream Alive"!

` helena `

Hmmm, I would actually say that the tone at the beginning of this poem is a bit positive, because you're basically saying not to let depression overcome you. But then it slowly becomes sad, as you express what you're really feeling.

[Creepy Swine Guy]

Wow! That echoes with the desolation and loneliness of loss. I pray that this did not come from the archives of personal experience. But the vividness with which you paint this empty place leads me to fear that this solitude imposed by fate comes from the darkest depth of your being.

You've painted all too well.

[Nick Rueb]

I thought this was just gorgeous writing. Very emotional and heart wrenching in places. Very good work.