She Would Not Admit She Had A Friend

just me, watching the rain & enjoying coffee.

She Would Not Admit She Had A Friend

Yes, she was negative
in that martyred way
of the truly deserving
And she deleted emails
to convince herself
of the infidelity of friendship
She said her best friend
had died consuming
coke & fizz candy
until she exploded
and her pink dress draped
in pieces in the kitchen
and that she, long suffering,
but sincere,
had worked all day
cleaning the ceiling fan & a
hard to reach area
beneath the stove hood.

Reviews

[Angela H.]

Hi, Phibby. I like the sharp edges of this piece, especially the blunt ending. The voice is just right for the message and you display her character without bludgeoning us with it. I like it!

[W.k.kortas]

The first six lines contain some wonderfully turned phrases, and the contrast of childhood as we see it in the days of "coke & fizz candy" and adulthood is wry and knowing. It's a marvelous look at the difference between life and living. Fine, fine little piece of writing.

[C.T. Bailey]

The reality of it all strikes home when the pains of loneliness cuts through your soul. Lonliness is much worse for the ones who need not taste its bitter harvest but do anyway for the sake of a forgotten "friendship". One day we who are the effegy of lonliness will find each other and then breathe companionship into our hollowed souls. Read this twice for you...read it twice more for me. Very nice.
Love, peace, happiness to you my friend.

Todd

[Ed Hart]

you ever wonder why the muses bounce us around just for the fun of it?

[J.E. Stroud]

I like the choppyness, and 'realness' of it. Good job!