Cookies

 

Cookies 

 

My formal room without drapes

or the disquise of conformity

is a broad accusation of sullen

discomfort..

My dog lolls there in need

of a loincloth & bath.

I can't be bothered with details.

My walkway is a lover's lane of

overgrowth

The gutters sag down to conspire.

My weed eater has a switch

that hides from my hand.

My daughter deals cards & hopes

she will never become me.

I put out birdseed for a phoenix.

I feed my garbage to the rats outside

so they will stay there.

Right in the middle of my new resolutions

I see the sun with the grin

of a village idiot

I am distracted by shiny things.

I frolic when I should stomp.

Even now my thoughts linger

without proper attire

I have drifted into thinking

of the rarity of blue birds

Where are the honeybees?

How do I memorize my number

if I never call myself.

I smell fresh baked cookies

all over this house.

Reviews

[holly]

This poem really hits home. "I can't be bothered with details...I'm distracted by shiny things", oh my, do I understand that. But aside from my "me too" reaction, this poem has such a perfect (hate that word but it applies) structure. Pulled from sentence to sentence, feeling to feeling, introspection to appreciation, this poem is about women universally, not just one woman. Women everywhere have this conversation with themselves. Thanks for letting us see yours.

[Emily B]

I've told acquaintances for years that no self-respecting rodent would live in a house as nasty as mine. I've just really got too much stuff to do to worry with all that. And, oh, am I ever distracted by shiny things. And fabric. And the pretty little words I find here.

I saw myself in your words, again today.

[Drifting Blue]

Scatter shot lines, distracted, yet incredibly observant. The poem presents a person who's on another level, the level of poet, the person in charge of seeing and telling. So many good lines,
I put out birdseed for a phoenix,
I am distracted by shiny things.
Even now my thoughts linger without proper attire
Just to name a few. I see so much here in such concise language it makes me envious of the writer who accomplished it. Outstanding.

[W.k.kortas]

Marvelous juxtaposition of seemingly disparate things-- the "formal room without drapes", the phoenix and the rats, an overgrown lover's lane--that here have a common thread. The poem has a cluttered feel, which is not your norm, and that would be problematic if that wasn't (as I strongly suspect it is) much of the point of the piece. Strongly visual and evocative writing.

[HoorayForUnderdog]

My favorite lines in your poem:

My dog lolls there in needof a loincloth & bath.

and

Even now my thoughts lingerwithout proper attire

and

My daughter deals cards & hopesshe will never become me.

and

...well...Ok...the whole dang thing! That is an excellent poem!

[Damian Alan Gray]

At the risk of sounding cliche, this is a great poem. Not just good, mind you, but GREAT! It is the epitome of how one can convey feelings through poetic means, yet without becoming sappy in the process. Wonderfully penned and well-intended.

Congratulations! Cookies has been selected as the Featured Work of the Week at the Vicious Circle!

[Donald Meikle]

Sounds like second childhood to me. I'm still in my first. So what's wrong with that?

[Ray Hamilton]

Having a bad day are we LOL
Pass along some of those cookies
This poem could have been written about me on most of my days lately
Sad but well written
Except the cookies smell good, chocolate chip isn't it
Ray