October

 

October stands in vertebrae,
the mountain skeletal with reach,
diminished greenery leaves the sketch,
as colors fall beyond regret.

 

All the strong reduce to bone
to crumble near the mountain's stone,

cool and unexpressive face.
Nothing here I find, can last.

 

The mountain changes, rivulets small,
rearrange the landscape's wall;
Till I am whispering on and on,
Nothing here lasts long at all.

 

In my eternal hope for Spring
I linger on the smallest things;
The green that struggles on the rock,
the song the loon found in the dark.

 

Still, all in all, the vertebrae -
October lines up to display,
is too much realist, bare and cold,
with colors shivering from her clothes.

Reviews

[Audrey Howitt]

Oh Phibby--I love how you see the world--this is a beautiful write--one that makes me want to curl up inside and see the world through your eyes for a while

[Mauricio Montoya]

Poetry is art to me so when I say that I like how a piece comes together its because there’s something that draws me to a piece and this one no exception to the rule. In my opinion this is an Excellent write.

[Phibby Venable]

thank you, Mauricio!xxx

[Michael G.]

Your description of the mountain in all of its glory is perfection. I can see it as time changes the scenery. I can feel the wind, and hear the quiet. Not really quiet; but, a golden loud silence that surrounds you. Well done.

[Phibby Venable]

thank you so much Michael!

[theunionisloud]

Beautiful. So much can happen in a month-- from warmth to bitter cold. The vertabrae, the shivering colors... stunning.

[Phibby Venable]

thank you for commenting, your words mean a great deal to me

[Ken Simm.]

In this October can be a place, a time, a personality, something to relish or something to overcome. How can all that come from such a write? Yet again I am in awe.

[Phibby Venable]

many thanks Ken xxx

[roarke]

"October stands in vertebrae"

Living off the grid, on a remote mountain side, this one phrase epitomizes the seasonal month and everything that surrounds it.

The last stanza is stand alone perfect for me.
Excellent piece.

[Phibby Venable]

thank you so much!

[Ed Hart]

"Nothing here I find, can last."

[Phibby Venable]

thank you Ed xxx

[W.k.kortas]

The first line is perfect, and provides the skeleton which the rest of this fine, fine piece hangs on. The amount of structure and rhyme is a bit of a new touch from you, but nothing is forced or artificial here. It is wonderful writing.

[Phibby Venable]

thank you, W.k.!

[Donald Meikle]

You've thoroughly sketched this shivering month. September's gone again. Think fireside hearths aglow and warm, hot cider, rum, and blankets Phib.

[Phibby Venable]

thank you, Donald, i love the autumn