dreams

during
a day
of

dread

laying
on sand

I rest my cheek

on the sun

and

we flew on horses

and a luck dragon

flew with us

Reviews

[mick weller]

along side (alongside?) one word or is this deliberate?
the word `mental` stops me dead - for it begs meaning here
I have a problem with the piece in that it lacks a coherence, but then it speaks of wild confusion - as in the end of things - apocalyptical in its resonance, but as though words are merely plucked out and strung together (like Bowie lyrics..?)
We are doomed. (this is a bit tired? almost clich�d ..?)
the disease of meaning and reason is an interesting insight of your own... diseased meaning diseased reason... hmmm interesting that ...
the title lets this down I feel - sounds tagged-on, like an afterthought. But then it can't be a `Theory of Everything` as that inspired my piece - it's kinda more `meaning and reason` as the theory has been lost

`I don't believe in Angels.`
and
`I was in love with it.` just seem again like idle additions - as stand-alone single sentences ...
- not that up on Blake but this has a vision-like feel of a parallel reality to it

Love. (would this work better as Of Love?)
as your clouds of unreason part your ending becomes very powerful... quite feels like dust settling
I feel you've injected a great passion into something obscure... something uncertain - like trying to catch hold of a hot potato almost in the literal sense...
wonderful ending though... steer clear of art galleries! You would be overwhelmed!
indeed, I think there is so much about this piece that could yet inspire others!
I agree with Emily that there is too much to take in all at once... certainly a lot going off there...
cheers mate
good write (particularly that ending)

[paul]

great poem. simple. and magical.
really remarkable stuff

[Emily B]

stunning still . . .

[Pj]

Wow!!! Reminds me of the novel, Brave New World...the science...the destruction and the lack of identity...but then finding identity...(I am so rambling on lol)

Great poem, liked its' uniqueness and the frailty of all that intertwines in the world..humans and thoughts and perceptions etc.

Nice work :)

[Emily B]

That is a strong vision. It has taken hold of you and relentless wrung the words from you.

This is amazing stuff. I've read it twice now and I'm quite sure I'll be back again later. There's too much to take in all at once.