Absent

The loneliness of one is the loneliness others.....An apple of one's eye can dim and eventually blow away into darkness......

Absent

Inaudibly sitting in a room that’s naked….The pallid walls of anxiety

I’ve been here so many times, every instant counting the marker lines on the walls

It wasn’t always like this…having no reason or route or even the awareness of time

 

People use to tell me…the grace of my walk matched that of my mother’s

And the strength of my will…..exceeded that of my father’s

My hands of talent had no visible bounds…….That I was the apple of New York City

 

But as seconds turned into minutes……minutes into hours……thus hours into days…

People became unaware…….of my sadness…..my suffering……my……identity

And the young woman that I was……descended from woman to teen…..teen to a small helpless child

 

Reaching out was a new thing for me…….Independence was the mark of my trade…..

My earnest tone….gradually diminishing with each fleeting year…..carries the angel’s tune no more….

My God…..I will always pray for him to hear my silent plea…….but even now…my belief and hope fades

 

It hasn’t happened over night…….I doubt anybody could see it coming through…..

Now I’m not the only apple in the New York sky….Not even that I guess…just a another bird that flies on by

And accepting that…….I learned to do….but…..now…..I don’t even  know what to do or… what to say…….    

 

So this room I sit….is not a prison….more so my haven…to escape the world that once loved me……

My love……I’m sad to say….is turning into hatred…..hatred for them…hatred for her……but…but…..

I must ask……I really…..must…..ask…..

To wish for things to be the same as before……does….does that make me a bad person?

Author's Note

Yeah.....this is happening in real life and it makes me very sad to say so.....but the only thing I could do was to write about it and thus this was born......

Reviews

[Peach]

I'm inspired by your words. I placed myself in your story...In your decent. I felt helplessness, I felt hate, I felt sadness, I felt sympathy. Very well written.

[SAAV13]

I really loved this. I almost cried reading it. Theres so much emothion in this. It's really great

[Ophelia O]

I love it. The word choice is spectacular. It fits the emotions behind it all, and yet at the same time it is simple and meaningful.

[Joanna Maharis]

This piece has a good premise, and I love the philosophical essence of the narrator.

[Livana Lowell]

No it doesnt make you a bad person because I felt the exact same way like in sixth grade I suppose. No one was there so I craved attention and I began to panic, the darkness horribly unfolding within me and the dark shades of life began to descend over my eyes. Lonlinesss had become my best friend and the shadows is where I always wanted to hide.

The description is amazing and the rhythm flows straight into my libary.

[Lunar Lightning]

I really like this one. It has so much emotion and so much comes through those lines. You wrote this in black and white, not too much to be assumed, and I like that. Very nicely done.

Luna