Patrina

Free write. There's a pig too.

Summer ‘96. Brings back memories, that. Good ol’ Patrina, that goddamn hog. She was the best damn pig I ever had. Can't say I'd ever come across sumthin’ as crazy as ‘er. Was a late night, warm air outside. Pipe was just barely lit. Settled down in mah rocker, puffin’ up a bit as I stared at the moon. Blanket a’ stars up there too. Then there's that damn squeal in the distance. Barely heard. Scruffed mah beard as I sat there. There it goes again, lil’ louder. Could tell a shitstorm was comin’, and I forgot mah damn umbrella. 

Sure enough not even 10 seconds down, there comes Patrina, rushin’ on to me. I got ready for ‘er, then the damn hog darts to the right, showin’ off some crazed derby move she musta been workin’ on. Didn't practice enough ther’, ‘cus the dumb pig slammed right int’a the flagpole. US goddamn A. 

Stumbled back and fell on ‘er a*s, that Patrina. Looked on over and saw ‘er papa out the corner ‘er eye, stood on back up and got up ‘er chargin’ back to me. Patrina jumped up she did, head first right int’a mah gut. Knocked mah damn pipe outta mah mouth, that dumb pig. Those eyes lit up at the sight of meh. She knows I can't get mad at ‘er, so she just cozies up without a care in the world. Then I look’n see this damn hog is covered in butter. 

“Goddamnit Patrina! The hell you do to get all this s**t on ya?” She snuggled on up even more, waggin’ that lil’ curl like a lap dog. I gave up and reached down for the pipe. Puffed up again and settled down, Patrina happier than anythang. 

Well, another 10 minutes and I see a white pickup come drivin’ up to mah yard. Funny was, the missus drives a red one. I lay Patrina on mah rocker and walk out to see what's goin’ on. Out the pickup comes a scrawny little thang with a splintered mess in his hands. ‘S got a real dull look on his face.

“Can I help you?” I says to ‘em.

“Sorry to bother, sir, but is that there your pig?” I looked on over to Patrina, pride on that smug face knowing ‘er papa. Couldn't deny ‘er even one bit. 

“Yessir, she's mine alright.”

“Well, it'd be real nice if y’all could keep ‘er in yours. She came on and broke my fence ‘ere. Ate all the butter I churned up this mornin’, ate some carrots too.” 

“Well s**t, that ain’t good. Nossir. I can pay to have ‘ur fence fixed, and I'll have some carrots on ‘ur way too. No harm meant. That ol’ Pat is just a rowdy one. ‘S in ‘er heart.”

“I appreciate it sir, I do. Glad ‘ur an understandin’ fella. Well then, I gotta get a move on. The family's expectin’ me.”

I scruffed mah beard. “Yessir, you take care, now.” The man walks on over and gets in his truck. That damn Patrina hops on up outta the rocker. He was in the front seat not even 10 seconds, and that damn hog went n’ jumped up on his hood. I s**t’chu not, she circles around just a lil’ and s***s on his hood. I damn near busted mah gut laughin’. The scrawny thang jumped out in a rage, swore up a storm. Ol’ Patrina jumps off and shoots for the fields, the man chased ‘er along half the night. Boy was that sumthin’. 

20 years down and I still remember that night like it was yesterday. Damn I miss that pig. Rowdiest little s**t I’d seen. She was the best damn pig I ever had.

Author's Note

Feedback is much appreciated.

Reviews

[David R Gonzalez]

I have never felt so much attachment to a pig. I like how you were able to capture not only the voice the characters but their personality as well through the use of colloquialisms. You did a very good job creating a story setting without too much exposition. It is rare to see a story being carried so well through simple narration. This is not my kind of story but I was able to enjoy reading it. Good Job!

[Philip Smith]

Thanks man, I really do appreciate the feedback :)