Merry-Go-Round

Merry-Go-Round

A Poem by Elisa
"

A dance that has passed

"
I just finish my bagel with chunky peanut butter
as a gravel voice creeps behind my ear. 
"Will you dance with me?" 
"Just say yes. Be polite." 
*The Merry-Go-Round turns, playing a waltz.*
He takes my hand, and floats with me. 
His breath against my cheek
is the wind beneath us, lifting us. 
"Wow..."
*The Merry-Go-Round turns, whispering its melody*
He twirls me around - then stops short
his body pressed up against mine.  
From behind, he circles his hips slowly...
"Oh, two can play at this game."
*The Merry-Go-Round turns, daring to follow the glide of his body*
I can feel him now. 
I take a panicked step forward. 
He follows me - ramming into me. 
"Why is he being so rough?"
*The Merry-Go-Round turns, blissfully ignorant*
His left arm tightens around my waist. 
His hips aren't in sync with mine anymore. 
He seems off-beat on purpose. 
"I can take him, if it comes to that." 
*The Merry-Go-Round turns, without a second glance.*
The bagel turns to stone, 
sinking deeper and deeper into my gut,
fermenting, rotting in the pit of my stomach. 
"Don't worry. This is what guys do at a dance."
*The Merry-Go-Round turns, slightly quicker this time.*
My hands become clammy.
My face turns to fire. 
I need to throw up. 
"If you can't handle it - leave." 
*The Merry-Go-Round turns, spinning faster and faster.*
I count each speck on the white tile floor,
until I feel a slight warmth
slithering past my bellybutton. 
"Your clothes are still on. He hasn't done anything." 
*The Merry-Go-Round turns; here comes the crescendo!*
He pushes his forefinger
Where no one else would dare to. 
I gasp as my body reacts to his touch. 
"If you didn't like it, you wouldn't have done THAT."
*The Merry-Go-Round turns, mocking my swelling eyes.*
I feel as worthless,
as the urine-soaked newspaper
drifting by, laughing at the prospect of my flight.
"I need to find my friends, but thank you for dancing with me." 
*The Merry-Go-Round turns, giggling at every tear.*
"Ok," is all he says. 
His arms release me at last.
And I run, and run
And run...
*The Merry-Go-Round turns...
And turns...
And turns...
And turns...
And turns...*

© 2015 Elisa


Author's Note

Elisa
Because of the very intense subject matter, I decided to make this poem mature. This, honestly, is a very selfish poem. I needed to write this to make sense of what happened. I hope you can all get something out of this. Thank you for stopping by, and have a great day.
PS I'm so sorry for posting late! I've been so busy with end of the semester work, but everything will clear up soon!
<3 Elisa

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Reviews

yeah, really brave stuff. conceptually dynamic (whatever the f**k that means). Yeah... honest. So cool what you do with the merry go round-violation juxtaposition. I am drawn to your imagination, which I really don't say too much

Posted 9 Years Ago


Elisa

9 Years Ago

Thank you so much. I'm really glad you found something in this. Like I said, I wrote this really for.. read more

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Added on March 19, 2015
Last Updated on June 3, 2015
Tags: sadness, abuse, shame, dance

Author

Elisa
Elisa

Los Angeles, CA



About
Hello everyone! I really appreciate you stopping by! I post new poems every Monday and Friday, so feel free to check them out and let me know what you think. Thank you so much, and have an awesome day.. more..

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