My Love

About a sad experience i had recently :( (I'm only 13 so don't be too harsh :))

I wanted someone to hold, close to my heart.

When you said 'no' to me, you tore it apart.

When I see your face, my heart fills with glee, but when i think about what happened, it turns to misery.

Don't you see, my beauty, I will never have you, I will always be blue.

I won't settle for another, it has to be you, the shining light, the radiant one...

My love.

Author's Note

Kinda rushed this one.

Reviews

[Dennis Shanaberg]

Not to go against Dakota down there, but I actually like the unique way you did the lines in this, it gives it a unique flow, as though each lines is filled with the labor of love until the final simple statement that can only be described in the complex preceding lines "my love".
I definitely see a lot of potential in you, esp. if you are thirteen. When I was thirteen I was still drawing a comic in my math notebook about a foul mouthed stick figure named Fred, and did not reach this level of writing till probably at least tenth grade.
I can't wait to see what else you come to be able to do. Keep it up.

[HereWithoutYou<3]

I love it actually. You can see that you actually care for that someone. When your at a young age ( i'm thirteen too ) you tend to be more open with your feelings. Love people more, fall without having your head put on straight. That's what it feels like. But no one can really tell you how to love, no can they? I really love this poem you did a wonderful job. And even though it's rushed your emotions still entered the same way. That's how I usually do my writing in the moment put all my emotions in one run. Good Luck! :)

[Allison]

You say it's rushed... But I say it's perfect! I know what you're feeling, and it sucks. Nice job!

[Sara Mercury]

Be glad they never said ' yes' then changed their mind. Having been in the situation of the 'character' in this poem, that is far better to undergo, than the aforementioned scenario ... by far. This is coming from experience in rejection. lol

Happy New Year to you!

[.]

ahhh...the loves lament...I understand the feeling..

[Ian Faraway]

Um, bring down 'But when i think of what happens....' to make a new line. Actually, make new lines out of most of these lines...cut them down so they don't look like long sentences or anything like that. Hoped I helped.

D.W.K.