I Will Fly

Sort of a self-reminder.

I must carry on
I must keep going.
But on the inside,
I don't feel the strength I'm showing.
Yes I know, the water keeps on flowing
and the wind keeps on blowing.
But now I am slowing.
I must keep my head up,
facing the sky,
instead of keeping it down,
and asking "why?"
I must always try,
then when I succeed
is when I will shine,
I will fly.

Author's Note

I wrote this in about 5 minutes. (I am only 12) Please review. :)

Reviews

[Bob Davies]

You have some good themes in your work, but you stifle them somewhat. I can only suggest that for each work either stick to a style, or don't... because dipping in and out is not helping your message come out of the 'page'.

[little lily Bride of Ch..]

i will tell you I agree age Doesn't matter i been writing since i was in 3rd grade have always loved writing comes from the heart breathing with the heart seeing with the heart thinking with it is a true beauty in it self and a Masterpiece work of Art just as we are to god we are his Masterpieces Very very Precious to our Father you should be very proud of your self live it and follow it Truly great advise i may not know you in some ways you remind me of my son hes a very smart and wise Boy He is only 10yrs. old so i tell you worry not of your age we are always learning young and old parents learn from their children and children learn from their parents if we Teach Knowlegable things that lead ones that look up to us in the right direction and it Teaches them as we are always learning from each other. don't worry about your Age Just Pour your Beautiful heart out It's a amazing way to let go of pain and many things and it turns into some thing so beautiful. BRAVO Many Blessing from god and have a blessed night lily

[Chilson, Joshua]

Poetry comes from heart and soul friend, in twelve years you are bound to have an experience to draw from. This is a good thing to write about, a self reminder to keep your hopes up even if you feel as though you don't have the strength. Dakota is right though, a harsh review is a poets best friend, facing criticism will make you stronger as a writer. One thing of advice, break the barrier of "I have to use so many words in this line to match the other". The second line could just be "keep going". Good write and keep it up.

[.]

this is a great mantra for life..live it and you won't go wrong for sure...

[Ian Faraway]

Ok, this is the point where I'll say very simple. AGE DOESN'T MATTER IN THE WRITING WORLD...unless you're trying to publish something then it might come up. I'm just saying, I'm 16 and I know a 9 year old who writes better than me. So don't say you're "only 12" and it gives us reviewers a chance to go soft. Harsh reviews is what gives us a chance to become better and motivation to OUTSMART harsh reviewers. Obviously I'm not one of them, I'm simply giving advice. SO no more 'I'm ONLY 12' nonsense, ya hear? If you write something and post it, ask for harsh reviews. It's gonna make us better not worse.....and about the poem, it was very nice. Except your rhyming pattern was A B C D D D D E F G F H I J H and it threw me off and totally made me want to write something terrible. But I'm not because you're ONLY 12! Pft. Anyways, other than that I liked it.

[Ph.D in Victory]

I like this one :)

[.]

A wonderful mantra to take through your life, stick to it, you will go far!

[KaySea]

very nice. keep writing

[Tony]

Start getting your book together, you could sell this stuff.
And help people be more human at the same time.
How cool would that be?