Backfire

A poem inspired by Linkin Park's new single, Burn It Down. Every bad thing you do turns back to you.

I raise you up,

You push me down,

I fall so swiftly,

My face shows frown,

And at the end,

When you've burned too,

You wish that I

Was still there for you,

There's nothing left,

Just pitch black dark,

Feelings gone,

Past left its mark,

You cry for help,

With no result,

While you die

I intensely exult.

Author's Note

I wrote this as a rap-style poem, perhaps a bridge for some song. It's thematically inspired by Linkin Park, and the poem is not personal. But, please, be honest and tell me what you think of it.

Reviews

[Orthrus]

I cringed a little at the rhyming in the first stanza but I applaud the audacity of the piece and the originality mixed with a good nod to its influence. Its mostly well stated and fast flowing. Its self-contained and says all it needs in a small piece, which you are good at. You pulled this off well but there is still some awkwardness to it, your reaching is apparent but it looks like if you tried you could get really good with this style and its always a plus for poets to experiment. Overall its good at what it is but not as good as what you do best.

[Leslie Philibert]

This is a good poem, fits into the tradition of a song or a ballad, I can imagine it being spoken or sung in a market place in the middle ages, as rap goes back to its roots as the tradition of spoken lyric, good work.

[Simmirose]

i love this. it hit home i mean you truly hit the subject of you doing things for everyone because you want to or because it's in your nature but when it comes down to it they won't do they same for you and i can definetly see this becoming a rocking rap

[Angelic Surrender]

I like it. I know the feeling of doing something, everything for someone, but they stab you in the back expecting everything will be ok. And when it turns out that everything is not ok, they wish they'd never stabbed you in the back. Great poem. And I love being able to read your poems and hear a rap in my head. It's awesome :)

Sweet to the point of death this is a great read dude... I've been meaning to write a poem somewhat like this but it got erased and it was gonna be my best...

Any-who I feel stupid for saying great job because it's obvious you should already know. :O)

[xSamilynnx]

really good sad n short but great emotions i love it :D

[SilentNiaAngel]

WOW!!!
Me Like Very much!

[Suditi]

Wow!
Great write!
Doesnt sound like rap in the first time..but when you read it like that again.. It goes!!
Wow.

[♪The Girl Next Do..]

Very cool poem! So sad. Excellent write