Backfire

A poem inspired by Linkin Park's new single, Burn It Down. Every bad thing you do turns back to you.

I raise you up,

You push me down,

I fall so swiftly,

My face shows frown,

And at the end,

When you've burned too,

You wish that I

Was still there for you,

There's nothing left,

Just pitch black dark,

Feelings gone,

Past left its mark,

You cry for help,

With no result,

While you die

I intensely exult.

Author's Note

I wrote this as a rap-style poem, perhaps a bridge for some song. It's thematically inspired by Linkin Park, and the poem is not personal. But, please, be honest and tell me what you think of it.

Reviews

[Orthrus]

I cringed a little at the rhyming in the first stanza but I applaud the audacity of the piece and the originality mixed with a good nod to its influence. Its mostly well stated and fast flowing. Its self-contained and says all it needs in a small piece, which you are good at. You pulled this off well but there is still some awkwardness to it, your reaching is apparent but it looks like if you tried you could get really good with this style and its always a plus for poets to experiment. Overall its good at what it is but not as good as what you do best.

[Summer'sBreeze]

LOL
I'm probably late for you status, but anyway...
This is a wonderful piece.
I like the flow to it.

[EternityWolf101]

It does have a ring to it. Backfiring does happen quite a lot these days, I will admit that. Nice job.

[Sweets]

That's amazing ! =)
It has a great flow, and it's very dark !
Great work !

[Mikayla Rasmussen]

well i like the rhythm of it and how it all flows together, in my mind i put it with my relationship with one of my "close" guy friends so i could completely imagine the visual you were putting togethe rin my mind. awesome!!!!!!!!

[Wolf's Dark Song]

Dark with hints of violence. Truthfully, I think this is really really good., great actually. Nice rhyming and rhythm, perfect for what you stated you're aiming for.

[MOON]

Good rhythm and emotive.

[R.A. Youngblood]

I really enjoyed it!
Well done (:

[Kaylor Mason]

simple and concise--somehow parts of it remind me of parenting a kid that goes wrong

[koty bell]

awesome poem indeed great write man thx for sharing:)