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Peace I haven't found

And I have sought

Oh, so endlessly

Into the abyss and through

The depths of hell and above

For heaven was a lie.

Carefully crafted, poison- coated

Its nature holds no solace.

Have I been tainted

For prying too close

Or have I wandered so near

Because of my rot?

The stench lingers within

Our bones, our souls

The definition of corruption

At its evolved form.

If peace is forever lost

Essence hidden between planes of existence

No stitches prevent the shout in agony:

Evil is my home.

Reviews

[Glen Yumang Manese]

This verse just speaks out... you have weaved a lot of words with concrete lines... in a relatively short amount of time... I would separate this more to give impact:

Peace I haven't found
And I have sought
Oh, so endlessly
Into the abyss and through
The depths of hell and above
For heaven was a lie.

Carefully crafted, poison- coated
Its nature holds no solace.

Have I been tainted
For prying too close
Or have I wandered so near
Because of my rot?

The stench lingers within
Our bones, our souls
The definition of corruption
At its evolved form.

If peace is forever lost
Essence hidden between planes of existence
No stitches prevent the shout in agony:

Evil is my home.

This is how I pictured this write as I read as a reader... but by no means is this right or wrong... just stating my opinion...

[Tomislav Petricevic]

Thank you for the insight. I must say, I think your vision fits the poem perfectly, as I've never been too good at separating poems into stanzas so sometimes I just don't separate it at all, haha. But your version sounds good.

[Glen Yumang Manese]

When doing the manuscript... yes... I can see the boredom in poetry... as Vile said to me in my work: Luna & the Ra... but I believe the publishers have to do that... they are the professionals to make the book look presentable... I agree that's our job... to an extent... but we must continue the journey as a writer... and not necessarily as a designer... we just make their job too easy... and not give them the space they need to be creative...

[Shaquana Adams]

This is so wonderfully dark. It's very creative and well-written :)

[Tomislav Petricevic]

Thank you! :)

[Suditi]

I love the last 4 lines. It is a dark, pricking, beautifully written poem.

[Tomislav Petricevic]

Thanks! :D