Unicorn Scarving

A short about the luxury of owning a mythical pet.

I was thinking that I want a really special super rare mythical pet and I thought hey maybe something soothing like a Unicorn. I want to teach the Unicorn to make me expensive scarves using its horn and whatever else you make scarves with. I will sell these Unicorn scarves at a premium or premeowm as cats would say and whenever you pass by my Unicorn he will offer you samples of Wolfbrand chili in tiny plastic cups that are too tiny for the little spoon he gives you so you have to kinda slurp it out sideways but its difficult so my unicorn will let you use his horn to get the chili out of the cup and you can lick its horn after but be careful because it jumps all the time when it gets frightened so he may impale you in the mouth but you get a free scarf if it does to stop the bleeding but I don't think scarves will really work that way so he will just drive you to the E.R. but he will need to borrow your car and also just one of his poops fills his litter box.

Author's Note

Lower your expectations please, or not. But you should.