God Hates Us All

      Precious is a word that is used way too often, abused to the point where some believe it has lost all meaning. The world has become too materialistic for it's own good to the point where trifle things like jewelry, clothing or even a new pair of shoes are stealing what was a great word away from thing that truly deserve to be blessed with such a label. Sharing a sunset with the one you love or looking into the newly opened eyes of a child that just came into the world are things that truly deserve to be called precious, not a coupon for our next over produced and grossly under nourished happy meal. The world had become too materialistic and had been brainwashed by the well paid public relations people to the point where no one could tell what was up or down, good or bad and even true and false. The world was one messed up place, and it was no wonder people were taking swan dives off buildings every day in the big cities. If it were not for his fear of heights, Devon himself might have taking the plunge, just to avoid the next mess of horrid film adaptations due to hit the silver screen.

 

     Yet there Devon stood, in defiance of all that was natural and good. He preached a good game, but was a hypocrite when it came to doing anything about it. Packed into the morning subway like a sardine, he kept hold of is few inches of the rail and hung on for life to make sure that he didn't bump into anyone and ruin their day before it even begun. Just when the slender train started to thin down and become somewhat breathable, it filled right back up with more people who wanted to get from one busy spot to another. This was his usual commute, but all other forms of transport in this city are a royal pain, so this was the certainly the lesser of a half a dozen evils. Devon continued to stand there and slowly began to dread the trip towards his place of work. It was usually around the halfway point where this sense came upon him as each stop closer passed by. As he was waiting, Devon muttered something with little or no regard to himself. He assumed no one would hear him since most people don't care enough to pay attention, but this day he was wrong.

 

     "I'm sorry, who hates us?"

 

     Devon looked up to notice that one of the young ladies that was standing on the other side of the train, holding onto the opposite rail and waiting for her own stop had asked the question. She was a nice looking young woman, someone that he wouldn't hesitate to give the time of day to, so he paused for a moment, took a deep breath and then gave her the answer: "God does."

 

     "God hates?" she repeated, trying to grasp the concept.

 

     "Of course. If an almighty being is capable of creation, love and even forgiveness, then hatred would just as possible." Devon didn't want to get into this particular conversation, but she clearly asked for it.

 

     "So what does God hate again?" she asked, obviously trying to patronize him with stupid questions.

 

     Devon smiled, and repeated his answer. "Isn't it evident? He hates us all."

 

     "What makes you think God's a He?" she quickly asked, trying to deflect the debate.

 

     Devon stifled a cough "A woman wouldn't leave the planet this messed up. This is the work of a messy guy who can't be bothered to hire a maid to clean up after Him."

 

     "You make a good point, but why the accusation of hatred. Didn't win the lottery again last night?" she clearly was still yanking his chain, but it didn't seem to have the effect she was expecting.

 

     For the first time that day, Devon cracked a smile and began to enjoy this intellectual jousting, "No, but everyday when we turn on the news there's a lot of evidence that good people aren't getting a fair shake. To make things worse, a lot of corrupt and evil people are getting away with enormous crimes against humanity and are getting richer by the minute because of it."

 

     "Can I have an example please?" she asked, eager to keep going.

 

     "1600 Pennsylvania Avenue is a good one. Two of the biggest crooks live there. If God gave a rat's a*s about cleaning up, he'd start there."

 

     "Do you want lightning to come down from the heavens and strike down the sinners?"

 

     "Hey, it worked for Zeus." Devon could see the look in her face that his response generated and decided to elaborate, "Hey, I know he was a crappy husband but man was he a pretty decent deity. You pissed that guy off; he did not hesitate to let you know about it. What would you prefer to have, a God that gets in your face and tells you to behave or an absentee landlord who lets the place fall apart?"

 

     "That's an awfully harsh thing to say about the almighty." she quibbled, again poking fun at his logic.

 

     "Well, when the cat is away the mouse will come out to play. In this case, the house is run by the mice because the bloody cat hasn't been seen or heard from for at least two thousand years."

 

     "Touché." she quickly conceded, not willing to stick to that point. Devon said nothing after that, trying to be gracious in victory. It was her who made the next comment, saying the last word he ever expected to hear: "Coffee?"

 

     "I'm sorry?" Devon responded, trying to process the suggestion as if it was something foreign to him.

 

     "Well, you do consume hot liquids to get you through the day like the rest of the peons here, don't you?" she was again using that playful tone, which suggested to Devon that she wanted to try again. This time over coffee apparently.

 

     "Of course." Devon answered, trying to compose himself, "Are you aware of any places around here that serves a decent cup and doesn't use its brand name to jack up their already criminal prices?"

 

     "I do." she said as she extended a hand for him to shake, "My name is Helen."

 

     "The name that started a war." Devon said as he shook her hand, "I'm Devon."

 

     "That's good, because if you said Paris I would have had to retract my offer for the sake of humanity." she giggled and then pointed to the doors, "This is my stop."

 

     "I guess this is my stop too, especially since we're going for coffee." Devon followed her out the doors once the sub came to a stop and up the stairs to the main lobby. Part of him wanted to stay on the train and continue on to work, but another part of him liked Helen and wanted to see where this was going to go. Most of the time when he got on his atheist wannabe rants people would run for the hills. Helen didn't this time and that alone seemed worthy of a little looking into. It wasn't everyday someone this nice invited Devon out for anything, so he didn’t think twice about skipping out on work that day. It was a risk he was willing to take to spend a few more minutes with this interesting person. He didn't believe in fate, or anything spiritual for that matter, but that day luck was working in his favor and even though there was no one to thank for it, Devon almost wished for a moment there was someone who he could, but that quickly passed as he quickly left the sub.

 

Reviews

[Nik Dendera]

Brilliant stuff! Sounds like the sort of thing I hear on the Tube on a regular basis!
Kinda pressed for time right now, but I'll be sure to check back and read the rest of it, this has already gotten my interest and usually first chapters don't do that.

[zak]

You are mega witty which is good, but I don't know anything about either one of the characters except that Helen is semi-bang-able (excuse my crude interpretation) and Devon hates his job. (I picture an M night shamalan looking guy for some reason.)

Why is he an atheist ? Frued, not that he's the most accredited philosopher to follow, said that people are atheists because a lack of a father figure at a young age - that might be a route you can consider. Maybe he got his knuckles bruised too many times in catholic school. Maybe he's a buddhist! The reader wont know until you spill the beans!

Also. Why does devon have the biggest balls in all of America ? It seemed natural when he muttered God hates us all - but then to rant on it the next line in the middle of a subway seems unrealistic. I would have him be more terse at first, letting helen persist persist and persist, then let him either explode, or reveal his philosophy little by little. Again, just a thought.

I like that the story takes place in the city - it's important to use your setting to your advantage. Maybe the city can act as a motiff that highlights the fallacies of Christianity.

Also, if this is going to be a story about the problems that plague modern society and christianity, and you plan on making it more than a few pages long, save your sweet arguments for another point in the story.

Also a good book for some cool insight is God is Not Great by, I think, Christopher Hitchens writes it.

Anyways I like this story, I like the setting, it has a lot of potential - just keep it urbane and witty, and you'll be money!

[rkfinnell]

Good dialogue. Introduce your character at the beginning.

[Recklesseyes]

Wow! Very intense. Nice flow of dialog between these characters. I have only one minor suggestion though. It was a bit preachy in the very beginning and sounded a bit too essay. I'd introduce Devon just a bit quicker and let the reader know right away that those are his thoughts. Only a minor suggestion though. Can't wait to read more. Thanks for sharing.