Out of Love

my regrets flutter
through my mind
making a physical stutter
only for me to find
im the problem, no other
i made the choices, fine
i accept the consequences
but i remain sorry

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my heart bleeds on the sheet

my words stain the page

an army of emotions

flying from story to story

always being sorry, and sorry

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and here we are

at the end of my girl

end of a friend

but oh so glad

my heart is not left mad

rather my heart is just left

gone from me

nothing to show or see

im done with love

efforts flew like a dove

darkness beckons me

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Quietly contemplating

those emotions

so strong and intimidating

bring me back to reserve

lost when i struck a nerve

one life is but a snowflake

but that's all it'll take

catapults into an avalanche

ending my love and romance

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i knew at first look you had to be mine

so truly beautiful; just too fine

i sit quietly and write my rhymes

thinking of happier times

when we were together in love

s**t flew awry fleeting like a dove

teaching all i know about releases

poetic artistic whatever to save the pieces

pieces of a life run awry by wretched lies

worry not...never forgot

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its an apparent truth

beyond any measure

that her feelings are gone

seems to be that my baby

no longer holds me dearly

which casts a shadow

so long and wide

that i cannot

run nor hide

from the cold darkness

feeling dead and gone, carcass

the thoughts ring over again

im too pained to defend

my heart from garish attacks

as if im stabbed in the back

never saw it coming- though

i wished hoped and dreamt

that i might have one night spent

alongside my former angel

warned of another

my care floats away

intentions so clear

there should be no other

waiting a thousand years

until i might hold her near

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nearly a years gone by

since my hearts first fly

it was the first time

thhat my dreams were

not just part of sleep

but a breating woman

she walked in my life

took it over....

i thought of nothing else

i thought of no one else

but its been months

since i held my love

never to touch her again

never to see her smile at me

live in a sea of reminders

where ever i turn i see

a memory a heart wrenching thought

recollecting my first love

like an icicle in my heart

her absence is a cold pain

my heart ceased beating the day she left

when i no longer had my pookipski

my life lost purpose

my search had been over

the most gorgeous woman ever

stole my heart and she still owns it

but now she with another

only holding thoughts of contempt for me

and with my death she will see

that i never forgot my pookipski

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with my eyes shut

i can see her best

her hair glistens

remind me of my loss

telling me of my inadequacies

all the things i wish i was

pointing to the moment i went wrong

a summer day cleaning

receiving a message about

help with a laptop

from that day on I've lived  a lie

the only time I've been true

is when i lay next to her

telling her that i love you

watching her sleep serenely

my angel, my beauty

none as special as she

is no longer mine

someone else is lucky to have her

but if he hurts her as i did

then death my soon find him

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