Angel Turns to Dust

It's about my past mom and my new mom and how my life was at both points.

Angel Turns To Dust

1. Precious. What is precious? Why do we fear losing something thats is precious to us?

2. What do we do with our precious items or memories or anything precious?

3. To me precious means feelings and memories that you have and will never forget as you grow up.

4. Precious is the mom I had and the one I have now which all has changed my life. Like when you change a old light bulb and put the new one in to get more light.

5. It all started when I woke up I had my angel right there beside me, Always there for me.

6. As a little boy I needed my angel there for me all the time, like a plant that needs water to live.

7. I needed my angel and that angel was my mom bright and beautiful.

8. As an angel my mom did her best to be there for me.

9. My angel did her best to stay bright and beautiful.

10. But like everything on this earth she was not perfect.

11. As she lived she got into alcohol, which caused her to start to be alone and this then meant she had no help that she could look for.

12. At first it was a little and then more and more and more.

13. As the days went on she started to change, But the change was not good it was bad and she could not stop drinking.

14. One day alcohol got the best of her.  

15. My mom started to die like a plant without water or an angel that loses its light.

16. That was the day that my angel started to fly away and break away like dust on a windy day.

17. It was also like she was going right through my grasp and I could not do anything.

18. It was like me being able to see her but not to feel her hand that was once there.

19. Eventually the alcohol overtook too much of my angel that it seemed her spirit was drained.

20. Until there was nothing left; no spirit and no brightness nothing. It was just me and the cold air that kept slapping me to show me that it was over and that she was gone.

21. Or like dust that keeps breaking apart and flying away until there is no more dust at all.

22. But I did not want to admit to it.

23. I wanted to pretend that she was right there.

24. But that's the problem with pretending because when no one else is there to listen or to look your just fooling yourself.

25. But even then.

26. I could only see my angel when I closed my eyes tight and did my best to remember of everything she was and how bright she was.

27. But that was it for me I could not do anything about it, that was also when I wanted to talk to my mom more than I ever did before it was also when i wanted to see her all happy and bright.

28. It was also the day I wanted to do everything that a mother and son does. Or did because for me that was over or maybe it was not, I never would no because as a little boy when the most precious thing that you have is taken away what do you do then, Ask for help? No

29. I could not ask for help, See I was to scared and could not put all the pisces together and people never seemed to notice that I was even there.

30. I could not ask my mom because she was the most precious thing that was taken away from me.

31. That’s when some days it felt like my brain wanted something that never existed but my heart wanted something that was always there.

32. It was like a tug of war and I was the rope that was getting pulled and ripped by both sides. And I was the one who was ripping my self.

33. That was also the day I felt lost, confused and abandoned.

34. Then my nights started to get darker and darker until there was no light left.

35. That was when I felt like I might turn to dust and go away just like my angel had.

36. When all seemed lost and dark, I took one more breath and decided to not give up but to search.

37. With that one last breath even in the darkest nights I searched for the brightest stars.

38. As I searched and searched, none of the stars seemed to come to me and once again I felt like giving up.

39. In that moment, I felt like I was falling into an abyss.

40. At points I felt like I could just reach and grab the stars but that was my brain and heart playing tricks.

41. As I kept falling, the stars got farther and farther away.

42. It seemed like I would never be able to get the brightest star.

43. Until when all went white and I found the star that was the brightest; the one I was looking for.

44. No! The star found me because the star was not a star, but an angel.

45. That angel was my new mom.

46. The angel who took me in and gave me a new hope.

47. As the angel took me in, I began to have better nights.

48. I could start to see clearly now.

49. Nights that were filled with a thousand brighter stars then I have ever seen.

50. That was also when my life seemed to light up just as bright as my new angel.

51. My new angel was many indescribable things that I only dreamed of having.

52. My new angel was the heart of everything in my life she was the one person that I knew would be my blanket in the coldest night and be my shield in the hardest fights.

53. My angel also was the hug that I could always come to and receive when I felt lonely or sad and depressed.

54. My new angel was also like a rose; she was beautiful and she had thorns to protect me.

55. Those were also the nights and days that I knew I was found and that I would not be abandoned by my new angel.

56. That was also the day I found out that angels not only go to dust and many things break and fly away, but that the things that break are not the brightest angels.

57. If you search in the darkest night for the brightest stars, then you can find the one angel that is brighter than any star that won't break apart.

58. My angel was the one thing I need all my life and even tho my first angel turned to dust my second angel is a castle that can not be breached.

59. Many angels might break for you, but if you find the brightest angel for you,

60. then you will live a life that will open your eyes to happiness and true love.

Reviews

[sette]

i really don't know what to say but maybe just ask this question, are you okay?