That Boy Who had masks for a face

It's about me and how my life is going

That Boy Who had masks for a face

1. When you hear the words “describe your life” what comes to your mind first.

2. To me I think about what I would do different.

3. Like if I could erase some parts of my life and rewrite them.

4. Of course that's impossible but what if you could.

5. I would go back and change every mistake every pain.

6. Like a plant that gets to regrow if is treated right and gets what's it needed.

7. Like how I would change the days that were so dark that I could not see anything.

8. But I was that fool who kept looking and searching for a ray of hope that would never come.

9. I was that little boy that would put on masks everywhere I went just to get a chance to fit in with the group and not feel left out.

10. I was that boy that would pretend that everything was ok but inside I was baning just so that I could force myself to open my mouth and let the words come out.

11. Because on the inside I was like a bear in a cage.

12. You can’t do anything when your in a cage, you can look and see and get fed but what about the freedom.

13. I was that boy that would go back on his own words do to the number of mask I had and had forgotten all the words I said and people then started to show the mess I was.

14. But I did not like that no I did not like it at all so I would laugh it off and pretend like it was nothing.

15. But in the end when no one is there you only fool yourself.

16. Is that what you want.

17. To me it must have been because I would pretend too much I could not tell what was even real or true anymore.

18. Like when I say something to my dad but I have lied so much to him what can he believe.

19. Not my words because to everyone it was like my words were poison that if you let it get to you then you would hate yourself and me.

20. Like how I am disappointed every time I lie.

21. I have tried to get rid of that mask but it seems like that mask never gets away from me.

22. You know why because I lied so much that it was like I glued that mask on.

23. And if I try to take it off then I would break the real face that I have.

24. But its a face I am not even sure if people want to see. So maybe it would be ok to break my face.

25. Because I had thought it was ok to lie to show people that I was different and that I had it all together.

26. But I want to be done lying because its annoying.

27. But what do I know maybe I am lying to myself again.

28. Like when my mom was gone I pretended it was ok that everything will go back to all perfect and right when I close and open my eyes.

29. But that's the problem nothing is perfect in this world everything has a flaw.

30. So why Am I saying all these words? It’s because I want to say sorry to those people that I lied to, but in the end I can not change the past.

31. I can try to make a better future but who knows maybe I will destroy it just with the words I say like I did before.

32. So in the end to me its seems like a cycle that we mess up and then do good.

33. But for me I have messed up so much that I keep on forgetting the good stuff I have done.

34. And yes I have made some good decisions with the words I say, but many because all the memories always rush back like when the wind slaps you when you open the door.

35. But for me it slaps me so much that it is the pain that I deserve.

36. All due to the words I say.

37. I was that boy who wanted to be the best the one who everyone wanted to be friends with the one that everyone would want to be the one who all talked about.

38. But with all the want I want I got pain because I was always asking for so much.

39. But I did get one thing many people do talk about me.

40. But it’s not the talk I wanted to hear when I walk in the streets or halfway.

41. So everyday when I go home and go to my room I cry of the person I have become.

42. And I know people say you can change but for me its hard and I don’t know why.

43. Everytime I dream now I dream of a time where I have no masks and there are people behind me talking and whispering.

44. But they are talking about how my face is all the stuff they can’t stand or don’t believe I have it and how it's such a disgrace.

45. I was that boy who would do anything to get people's approval in anything just as long as I don’t mess up in front of them.

46. I was that boy who would rather do something I knew how to do and not show others.

47. I was that boy who would rather be himself.

48. I was that boy who had masks for a face.