Where has she gone to?

Living with dementia

Where has she gone to?

The girl who I once knew was happy and full of fun.

She enjoyed life.

Had lots of hobbies.

            Which one should I do today.

She cooked and baked for us.

The best cook in the world.

 

The fun has left her.

            The bright eyes are now dull.

            Like there is no one in.

We don’t want them to take her away.

            They would not look after her.

Care for her.

Just sit her in a chair.

We will keep her here with us.

            Keep telling her we love her

            Keep telling her what’s for tea.

            Running her house, as she would like.

 

Wild Rose 2024

Reviews

[Stella Armour]

Dementia is Thief... a robber and cruel.
It is wonderful that she can be cared for at home Peter, i know you struggle soometimes but her dignity would be lost in a care home to a great extent as no one else knows the little things she has always liked doing for her and you can chat even if it is often not always reciprocated...

[peter Charlesworth]

Thank you Sheila
I don't think she would last for long in a ?care? home
She needs my comfort and would pine herself away
I try to keep her busy > now I have got my new cataracts, and allowed to drive - we intend regular outings > She is now taking hold of perparing meals again

[Stella Armour]

I am sure she will enjoy going out in the car again, ill do her a world of good to look at new scenery rather than being kept in the house..

[peter Charlesworth]

When the weather is warm enough we move into the garden
It is not SO private that we can strip off completely.
We have a few bulbs to plant > flowers enext year

[Stella Armour]

You will also be able to do some painting in the garden, the flowers will be an inspiration..

[peter Charlesworth]

She used to like painting flowers > our son gave her a zipped case with about 36 coloured pencil crayons
So far unused

Hoping to give her inspiration

[Webster]

Living with dementia is already hard. And taking care of a loved one with dementia all the more difficult. To see that person you so loved, and who loved you with all their heart, slowly lose who they once were is just heartbreaking, and you are an angel to be taking care of them. I recently went through the same with my father, and sadly he just passed away. Your words bring back bittersweet memories of the same.
Thank you. May God bless you and your family.

[peter Charlesworth]

Thank you Webster
This winter has been double problem
I have been unable to drive > Two cataract opps have prevented me from driving > and she doesn't understand she loves the outdoors > walking/ gardening / camping

[redd Brick Keshner]

This is a truly heartfelt tribute to a beloved person who brought joy, creativity, and care into your life. The contrast between her past vivacity and the current situation is deeply moving. Your commitment to caring for her and keeping her spirit alive within the home speaks volumes about your love and dedication. Thank you for sharing such a touching piece. Happy New Year 🥳🎉🕊

[peter Charlesworth]

Thank you
It is about 64 years since my training partners' girl (Barbara) came to me with two tickets to a diner dance/ prize presentation that same night >> The Yorkshire cycle racing girls had sorted her out from amongst their ranks.
62 Years married next month.

[Sami Khalil]

May God give you strength during this difficult journey in her life; you are doing what is right and honorable. It is hard to go through that in every family. Sad that governments spend billions and waste billions on wars, yet no money to find necessary cures to many illnesses.

[peter Charlesworth]

Thank you Sami - On her good days she is normal Just today we came back from a shopping trip She has one half hour > Just let her get on with it for a while > now all peace and quiet

[Sami Khalil]

Wonderful. You are welcome sir.

[Betty Hermelee]

It is very sad when a family member or close friends becomes ill in that way...most like it is her mind, blank eyes, pale cheeks, cooking and laughing are gone...someone dear to her must take good care of her...saying that you love her is the best! Even if she doesn't respond...just keep smiling....
Nice write, though very dark.....
Warmly, B

[peter Charlesworth]

Thank you Betty > We just had a nurse > Did we want for her to be taken away?
Not unless she required care than we would not be able to give her > WE (our son and myself) want her here with us to talk to and to laugh with - make our meals - we do the preparations (like wash the salad things > see sets out a beautiful display > she makes dough and rolls out the pastry. I put in the fillings and operate the oven (hot trays) It often takes longer - But who is there to complain
She is brighten ing up now that I have my new glasses and can see to drive
I was banned last August > now 2 cataract opps later I have to get used to the AUTOMATIC transmission > and get some warm days

[Betty Hermelee]

illness in the family is difficult, and most of us want them home as long as they can be....
A pleasure...
Warmly, B

[Chris Shaw]

I feel so sad reading this, but I can also tell just how much this lady is loved. Dementia can get really difficult (my aunt has it) but if the care can continue at home then I think that is wonderful. You have lost the girl you once knew and that is really painful, but you have wonderful memories to sustain you . Sending you best wishes.

Chris

[peter Charlesworth]

Thank you Chris for the encouragement
So far I have had three stays in hospital with her
read moreThank you Chris for the encouragement
So far I have had three stays in hospital with her
Each time we got a private room
On the first one I was taking her to the toilet first thing in the morning The nurse said you cant go in there with her > I replied ' we have been married for 60 yeard now and shared the same bed and even drink from the same cup. Aw go on then in that case.
On one she was in tears > she had been told she was going home > the the doc never came to see her
He was making his notes opposite - So Isa at our open door so that he could see me cuddling her
He sent a junior doc to talk to us - we were sent home
Oh &nd the social services sent her for three sets of tests each time ment another night in hospital _ so Isaid tothe doc - it everything is OK on thescan can youget us out before they have a cnnferance

she came back a care worker whisked the chair away, anothes said go and get her papers - I saic we need our son to pick us up - He should be here in a few minutes
Last time social services said she was too unsteady on her feet
She has been sitting here for four days > you limbs stiffen up just sitting and ay our age it is even worse your legs would be stiff Also she has a walking frame at home and a wheel chair for shopping
Let m e take her home and give her a weeks exrecise then see how she is
Your attitude is that I should not be out because I am waiting for a second careract op and I am seeing double - I know that I am not allowed to drive but according to your rules I should not be out alone. I will fight you in court and get you taken off this work if I have to do - we came home
& I may need reading specs

[Chris Shaw]

Remember to look after yourself as well my friend. Take care.

[peter Charlesworth]

I have another week, then I should be allowed to drive.
Then we will be able to go away in our motorhome, definitely not over the waters

Just had a thought I have a few paintings that I have done > I will add them to my photos

[Chris Shaw]

I’ll look out for them. That will be lovely if you can get about in your motor home.

[peter Charlesworth]

Now I can drive (No double images)
We can have outings even if it is only to the docks