Circle of Light

A nine year old girl struggles in a post-apocalyptic world where there is only the dark.

                When I was born, I remember lookin out the window, and seein nothin but the dark. When I was growin up, I seen nothin but the dark, and there’s still dark. But that’s the way it’s gotta be I guess, something good bout that is I aint afraid of the dark like them sissy kids used to be, before there was dark. Mama tells me that youngins like me were scared of the dark like babies, and were so pampered and spoiled they was like fancy poodles. I aint, I’m tough, like Mama.

                Me and Mama live in a nice little cottage in the woods, all lonesome like. In fact, I aint never seen another kid like me. I’ve only seen anybody besides us three times, all the way since when I was a babe. In fact, when I was a sprout, I thought we was the only people that existed anywhere. Mama set me straight about all that nonsense. She told me that there used to be a lotta people. We was so numerous the whole world was full of us people. She told me that before there was dark, people lived in fancy houses and had thems so much food, their stomachs bulged with that there food. I wasn’t there then, I was still in Mama’s belly. My Mama though, she saw it all.

                She told me that when I was in her baby bump, there was something called the sun. It shined like a big fire in the sky and somehow it never fell down. It made your skin warm and made all them plants grow up tall. But one day, when the sun was out and shining like usual, there came a cloud, a big black cloud. Mama thought it was gonna rain, but it didn’t. That there cloud just sat there and looked down on all those people like a big ole pair of eyes. Then, more clouds started to come into the sky, all them smartest men in the world tried to figure out what them clouds were. None of them could figure it out, but Mama knows. She says that all them bad deeds people were doin on the Earth was turned into big black clouds and drifted right up into the sky and got stuck there. More and more bad clouds kept comin and soon they filled up the whole sky, and then that beautiful sun was gone. Then, them clouds got heavy with all that bad and came down to Earth and made a thick fog. That fog never cleared up like normal fog would, I still cant see near twenty feet when I go outside. Soon all them tall plants died, and people started gettin sick. Only the smart ones made it, like me and Mama. Once in a long while, we see another person movin through the fog, they must’ve been smart like us.

                I know I said I’ve never seen any kids like me, but that was a big fat lie. There was once this kid, her name was Hannah.

                It was a year ago, when I was 8. One day, Mama sent me out to get some water from the well, so I took ma water pail and headed out into the dark. I had just got to the well and started reeling up that bucket, when I saw something weird. The dead bush just a jump and a skip away from me was movin. It was rustling like something was hidin back there! I wasn’t scared of it a bit, “Come on out of there!” I yelled real big and loud like. aint

                Then, believe me or not, a little girl that looked a bit younger than me came out of the bush with a messed up dress and hair to match. Her eyes were wider than my whole fist! I knew I must’ve scared her.

“Where’d you come from?” I asked, tryin to sound nice like, but she was rude little squirt and dint’t answer.

“Where’s your Mama?” I asked again cause I’m patient too. She didn’t answer again; she just stared at me with her big ol owl eyes.

There weren’t no Mamas around so I figure she didn’t have one.

“Well, if you don’t got no Mama, you can come with me to see my Mama.” See how nice I was; I even offered to share my Mama with her, still she said nothin. That was awful rude if you ask me.

                I took the rue little girls hands and led her back to my house, she was awful boney. When I opened that door, Mama looked so surprised that she dropped the soup she was makin.

                Mama took the little girl into her bedroom, fed some food and cleaned her up. I could here’um whisperin in there. I don’t know why she talked to Mama instead of me. I guess she was just rude.

         After an hour, Mama came on out.

“She’s asleep now, shell be fine now. Good thing you found her Pumpkin; she’s half starved.”

“Is she gonna stay? Cause if she is I’m not sharin my bed with her, or my food.”

“Sorry Pumpkin, shes gonna stay; she’s got nowhere else to go, she doesn’t have a Mama like you.”

“Where’d her Mama go? Did she leave?”

“Well Pumpkin,” Mama always called me pumpkin. “there are some bad people roamin around, they killed her Mama, and her Daddy is missin. She’s all alone”

                I felt real bad for her, she must really miss her Mama. Maybe that’s why them clouds don’t ever leave, we humans still haven’t learned our lessons. I decided right there and then to be real nice to her, we’d be friends, as long as she didn’t bother me.

                The next morning, I went and sat on the edge of her bed as she was wakin up.

“Hi,” I said soundin friendly all over again “I’m Tammy, but Mama calls me pumpkin. Do you have a name?”

“Hannah.” She looked a whole lot better than she did yesterday, and now she was talkin to me, but she was whispering. I don’t know why she was whispering, nobody was around to hear.

“My Mama says your gonna live with us now, so we can be like sisters.”

“That sounds nice.”

“Do you wanna go and play, I got lots of toys.”

After that, we was friends. She wasn’t rude anymore and soon she was talkin normal instead of quiet whispering.  Sometimes we would play dolls and lots of times we would just pretend we was princesses or dragons. We was best friends, I told her all my secrets that nobody else will ever hear about. I wished I’d found a sister sooner.

One night I was sleepin when I felt all cold. I knew that wasn’t right cause my bed is close to the fire so I’m always warm. I opened  my eyes ready to beat the snot out of someone, but it was just Hannah. She had my window open and was sneakin out!

“Where are you goin?” She was real startled

“Tammy, please don’t tell your mom. I just need some fresh air.”

“You shouldn’t be goin out after bedtime, your gonna get hurt.”

“I’ll be fine. I’ve done this lots of times already. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be back before you know it.”

                I didn’t want her to go out there, but she sounded like she knew what she was doin. I climbed back into my bed and let her go on out, I guess I let her go cause I trusted her. That’s what friends do, and I’m a real good friend.

                I’m always right with my judgments, Hannah was back in the morning all happy like. I guess that fresh air did her good. She kept sneakin out all the time, most nights actually. I suppose I shoulda told Mama, but I didn’t want her to be mad at Hannah, my Mamas like a dragon when she’s mad.

 

                One day, Mama had to go into the woods to find an old town. Thems old towns are still filled to the brim with food. Those days are always fun cause I get to watch myself.

                As soon as Mama left Hannah turned to me all excited like and said, “Tammy, I’ve got a really special secret to show you.” I was real interested cause secrets are always fun “It’s really amazing, it’s my special place. I’ll share it with you, if you’d like.”

“What is it?”

You’ll see, it’s a surprise!”

So me and Hannah set out into the woods. I know Mama always said I wasn’t supposed to go anywhere, but Hannah looked like she knew where we was goin.

                We walked a real long ways. I couldn’t see nothin past all that bad deed fog, I don’t know how she knew where we were goin. Soon I couldn’t see anymore trees, I guess they had turned into rocks cause there was a lot of those. Then the ground started getting higher and higher, soon we had to climb up all these rocks. I had trouble climbing cause the bad deed fog made it kinda hard to see, and when I looked down it seemed like the ground just vanished into the dark. I was getting real tired, when finally the ground stopped goin up and we could walk.

                Then I looked over and saw this rock, but it wasn’t that rock that was weird, something was next to it. It was a plant. It looked just like Mama said, it was green and had leaves and stuck right up out of the ground.

“Hannah, look it’s a plant!”

“That’s nothin, just wait.”

I didn’t know what that meant, nut I followed her up anyways. Finally we was at the top.

                It was weird up there; we was above the fog but below the clouds, so there was a nice little breeze up there. Then, I saw the pretty little secret Hannah was talking about. There was a tiny hole in the clouds, just one tiny hole that light was comin through. The sunlight shone right down onto the rocks. Right there was a tiny circle of plants that weres waying in the breeze like they was dancin.

“Wow.” It was all I could get outta my mouth

“I know, it’s my little circle of light, but it’s ours now.

I went up to our circle and stepped right into it. It was just like Mama said, but better. The sunlight looks just like golden lace comin down from the sky. I held up my arms to catch the light, and I did. The sun was warm, like my blanket, but it sparkled and made you feel all fuzzy. When I looked up through that hole in the evil, I felt like I was looking straight up to heaven.

                I didn’t want to leave there, but I knew Mama would be home soon and she wouldn’t be happy to see me gone from home. So we ran down the hill as fast as my squirtey legs could carry me. When we gots to the cabin, I could just see Mama’s lantern bobbing in the dark by the house. We snuck in the back window real quiet like and, and then when Mama came in, we was gonna pretend we’d been there all along, but we didn’t have to.

                Mama came into the house with a weird lookin man behind her. He was tall and dark with a big ole beard. Hannah took one look at him and started cryin big crocodile tears.

“Daddy!” she yelled. Her Pa had been lookin for her; Mama met him in the village and told him she was with us and he came a runnin.

                I was real mad at Mama then; she told Hannah’s Pa where she was and now Hannah had to go with her Daddy. Hannah said goodbye, I pretended to be all nice, but I was real mad. Best friends don’t up and leave each other to go other places; she was a rude traitor. After she left with her Pa,  I went and started cryin, but not baby cryin, tough cryin. Mama tried to make me feel better but it didn’t work.

                The next day, I went up to that circle of light. It made me feel better, bein able to look up at God and his angels, playin and singin songs up in the light. I started thinkin bout life and other stuff.

                I was comfortable layin here in my light. Even though there were enough bad deeds to fill the whole sky, there was good enough to break’em, even if it was just an itty bitty hole. Then as I was watching real close, I saw the hole grow a little but bigger, it was fightin the bad clouds! As I looked out over the land from my hilltop, I saw the fog thinning in some places, I saw holes growin in the dark clouds, and I knew the sun was coming, and the dark was leaving. The hole in the sky would grow and nobody would have to share their light cause everybody’d have their own, and it was all thanks to my little circle of light, no, “our” little circle of light.