Insomniac

Insomniac

A Poem by Perdition

 

We are the strangest question by far

it’s easy to neglect this, easy to

slip away down to something quite sacred,

something other than the potion in our one meaning

or menacing

 

Each time I try it follows me

the open eye, once a candle to a peacock burning bright

now the compensation to the day

a steady prayer at that, and one that waivers

once in, from then on

never out of mind,

 

Yet there once was a sweetness about,

an hour so quiet that when the melancholy seeped or stirred

I’d wake the sleep to work out this madness

 

The night would fill and form around me

the groggy black glass so rancid and macabre,

yet together we could paint our pain

together something refined our senses and

something heavier would slow the famished pictures

 

The blood beneath our skin would rust and slow

stampeding eyes became disciples to the shadows

gleaming, as if into Africa or off to a brief heaven

wherever we’d decide

and when morning spoke we’d paint again until the pain would

simply slip off and away

 

Oh yes, the morning would come

the unstoppable rise though we’d try to fight it 

and the more we asked the more we died

it was not the apology but rather having to hide beneath the

miles and miles of mindless phrases

 

It has always been a place of death for me

and the source of life

a place to grow the light that glows to an end

a place to slip away from the slant of my own empty rooms

with so many souls now beside me

it is the most infectious seed I can recall

living with something that will never besiege the question

or worse than the tyrant that lives inside 

inducing the quality to the question itself.

© 2020 Perdition


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Specially the first two verses, every word You've chosen, You chose it in purpose. when I was young, if I started to think about us, the earth, the universe... etc... I started to feeling that my mind was going to the edge. so I practiced it to stop at a certain level. as I am older, I have no fear or confusion to dive and dwell in that... we are the strangest qustion, and we will always be, because we are the mini versions of the universe. You try to find your answers in all the ways you know, science, religion, physics, spirituality, powers... etc but the comfort you got is from those souls whom are like you, you feel them, you give and take from them.

with your continuously "opened peacock eye" you are insomniac, I do believe this one is not only about being sleepless and unable to sleep, but more of how this "always" opened mind refuses to rest... and what's better than a keyboard and words as friends?

May each night be peaceful enough for You dear Joe.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Perdition

3 Years Ago

The keyboard has returned...lol. Sorry for the delay. The "souls" as you call them, were actually a.. read more
Insomnia is both a blessing and a curse for a writer--I used to suffer it quite a bit.

Posted 3 Years Ago


Perdition

3 Years Ago

Well put..the blessing I believe must be some degree of choice and one that is strikingly amazing wh.. read more
Happy to say I am not an insomniac - go figure - happily in a long-lasting relationship with my bed.

Glad I stopped by, I haven't read one of yours in many many moments, you still have the gift of lullaby in your words I see :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


Perdition

4 Years Ago

Oh ..that is just crueler than cruel..lol. No insomnia? Are you even trying anymore??..hahaha..Happy.. read more
KWP

4 Years Ago

I'll pack the Vegemite, yes we shall head to the beach and put a snag on the Bar-b mate ;) you got t.. read more
As a bipolar person, I've had raging insomnia all my life due to rapid-cycling mania. I hardly ever sleep more than 2 hours in a stretch. I could see this poem applying to insomnia in the literal sense & it's a creative & powerful & spooky way to portray it. But about halfway thru, I popped off this track (becuz the poem started to sound like it included a pair rather than a singular person) & I started to think about how sometimes a new-ish relationship can be like manic insomnia, in that everything is hyped up & you can't live without that other person & you do all-nighters often becuz you can't stop pouring everything out & you feel like soulmates & you have to share every nuance that crosses your mind. This insomnia-style budding romance can be about as lethal as this poem makes it sound, like all this intensity, all this shirking off of needed breaks & breathers from each other, it can lead to just such a downfall as much as becoming insanely sleep-deprived. Sorry I haven't reviewed you lately . . . don't know why I never see you & I've been sketchy, too. Hope everything is fine with you & yours in these risky times (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

Posted 4 Years Ago


Perdition

4 Years Ago

Think "Poetry"...as James Wright said to his son Franz..and I'm paraphrasing here " So you're a Poet.. read more
I sleep like a baby:) this affliction has not been an issue for the me, thank goodness! But I find I don't need to sleep as much these days as I used to maybe 6 hours:/ I think the general state of my mind is always in a meandering brink of chaos that's why I meditate so much for clarity but somehow I have this switch at nightfall where I can just release the constant murmurings of a fractured mind and the "I" in me disappears in this I am blessed my friend. I have often said that the state of almost wake is when the best poetry comes out of me perhaps that's what happens to Mr. Perdition lovely discourse here good sir

Posted 4 Years Ago


Perdition

4 Years Ago

Hahaha...well was out watching the world burst at the seams so sorry for the delay but yeah..night h.. read more
I've insomnia myself, so I am no stranger to this write. This is amazing


Posted 4 Years Ago


Perdition

4 Years Ago

Well nothing to lose any sleep over really..smiling. You knew that was coming didn't ya?..lol. Thank.. read more
Ah, How I use to be such a creature...only wanting the darkness of the night to live and be free by...now here I am wanting to dance in the breezes of the afternoon sunsets and crawl through the wet grass in the morning's dew...How I hear life's peak in the bird's chirp or its flutter as I move into the wings. How excited I get to push my soul into the warm wetness of live dirt and whisper there with the weeds. I feel a new heartbeat...a tickle...a smell. I'm guessing this isn't my tyrant or maybe he's always been my love turbulent ...returned now from the ages of a dead sea. I love this poem but am not sure it has anything at all to do with insomnia....but that once again may just be me ;P

Posted 4 Years Ago


Perdition

4 Years Ago

Put down the medication!!..lol. No ..it all sounds wonderful and I'm right there with ya.The season .. read more
Gypsy Warrior Queen

4 Years Ago

I am not sure we should sleep at this time. I think we need to be wide awake. I think we need to qui.. read more
Perdition

4 Years Ago

I had to lecture a sea turtle last week....wasn't wearing a mask. Some critters..snicker ..snort. As.. read more
This is astounding writing :) I really enjoyed reading this piece...no stranger to insomnia myself, I understand several images here. The metaphor is sheer brilliance :)

Posted 4 Years Ago


Perdition

4 Years Ago

Can any one of these poets stand by the well of words and not draw from insomnia? Seems to play a ma.. read more
Ruth

4 Years Ago

Lol I do love Bulowski's poetry...I find it real and provoking...you are very welcome to the review... read more
Ruth

4 Years Ago

Bukowski even...
I too suffer from insomnia, a troublesome beast but one I can manage. Unlike that other one that confines us to our homes and isolates us from loved ones. At least in our minds we have freedom to wander off, converse, embrace with whomever we wish in our make believe world. I really enjoyed the poetic expression in this writing. Well done.

Chris

Posted 4 Years Ago


Perdition

4 Years Ago

I think insomnia just comes with the poetic territory..well that along with depressions and horrible.. read more
Quite an intriguing write, well said and written

Posted 4 Years Ago


Perdition

4 Years Ago

Thanks! Came together like a scream into a air conditioning fan..lol.

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Added on April 25, 2020
Last Updated on April 25, 2020

Author

Perdition
Perdition

VA



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