Edged Heavily

And on the water's surface angels assembled, briefly before my full descendance ...each held in breath, edged heavily into the old stars of war...In my heart I felt this night collapsing as if it might not return again...I felt the old bones collapse as well; somewhere beneath my shoulders as the world broke away, the ravens shed safely down to the birches and life rattled a grumbled wish... there I staggered into my old stray wings…my old feathers…my old life ...walking through the water's voice where I was scarred,  as all things are that descend into their waking breath and face their night inside the water's current.

Reviews

[barleygirl]

BEAUTIFUL! We hardly ever see artful writing like this at the cafe! Simply artful writing, not trying to tell a story or make a point. Just letting words be enjoyable for the sake of reading them. This is all about the words, the flow, the magic of writing in a graceful way that resembles what you're writing about. I love how you use "old feathers" & "my old life" & "old collapsed bones" -- strong imagery to convey a state of mind (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Perdition]

Awww..shux! so sweet as always Margie...I still cringe at a couple words in this one but what artist doesn't? A celebration of language and images...something swirling in that mind of night, just behind the eyes, and as we do, well, had to chase it down..((Hugs)) back at ya and thank you as always for the kind words.

[DAH]

Oh, this is a dreamy!

This poem is reminiscent of / and or mirroring,
Alberti's masterful collection "Concerning The Angels" (1928)

"I felt the old bones collapse as well"

"there I staggered into my old stray wings" love the imagery these lines create.

I relate this on many levels.

Bravo P!
DAH

[Perdition]

Wow..You got me on this one...and I love that era. Looks like I'm going to have to do a bit of studying tonight ...Much gratitude as always~

[DAH]

My pleasure!

[lightsong]

It’s that time, when You know You can’t be the same as before, there is a “past” You, and there is a the “future” You, deep down You know You can’t back to Your old life, Your old feathers, Your old self, though You want to because it feels safe, deep down You know You are being protected, and You know You must walk into the Water, into the unknown, be courageous as courage can be, it will be tough, You will stop, and You will fall down, You will be frustrated, You will weep, but all worth it, the rebirth of You worth it.

a piece touched by a pure heart and genuine spirit, a piece to be remembered.

[Perdition]

Is it that time already...and I set my stupid alarm and everything ...I can't trust these things anymore!..Thank Light!...I've been struggling with a long hiatus considering if I'll ever write again or maybe switching over to short stories but either way it requires work and writing so you're right and thank you so much !!l...xx thanks for caring and for checking in~

[lightsong]

The first step is the hardest, then it gets more easier, time is only a tool don't think about it, if writing is in Your essence (and I know it is), wait until it came back alone to You, same as I'm waiting for it to truly come back to me too, Take care of Yourself dear Joe, remember if You need anything I'm here for You, sometimes we don't need someone to understand but a stranger to listen ❤️️

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

I thought I was losing my mind too and then I read this poem...I guess I shouldn't tell you are brilliant but then again I guess you already knew that!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

sometimes age or psychological defeat can make us wonder if the night will be our last..if we will descend into that darkness of sleep and not wake up again...if we will transcend the now...see our life pass before us in a dream...and just leave with the current.
oh, i like this one a lot, Perdition....
a thoroughly thoughtful write.
j.

[Perdition]

A pleasure as always and appreciate that you enjoyed it j...."psychological defeat"...pretty good pretty neat. It never ceases to amaze me what others see beneath the bones and lines...your interpretations are usually quite unique and intriguing if not spot on so, as always... Thanks for the stop over and kind words~

[Kesch (Finding Julia)]

Wow, I love this, it reads kinda dark, but holds a grip of life to it. So nicely done.

[Perdition]

Well, that is life..no? :) Thank you Kescha, hopefully there is a balance so appreciate the input.