Untitled for now

 

So this is how it ends 

or maybe how it all begins

one last empty shell denying the hollow praise

one last hunt of sunrise á la carte

 

morning's red letter above the sheets

raining through the glass

 

but I stop myself ,

knowing suicide as the eminent gate

A door to all that’s well

telling me again how living is spent by fools

 

I know my soul must disagree

s****y though it sounds

and better by the jaw to stay until tomorrow

as we are both a dying pair

better to fair out the imagination and

indulge my way back home

your skin inside the prophesy 

Reviews

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

292 views and only 4 chairs...This must be an AP class:P

[Perdition]

haha...standing room only huh. I better grow that beard and start speaking in Gaelic inaudible overtones...making that chalk board sound everyone loves. Perdition out!

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

So I am going against the grain here...well, cause that is what I do so many times, but I'm taking this personal and it's not so about suicide in respect but killing yourself in the aptitudes you have for the wanting. Wanting is not always needed in my philosophy but who I am to say I don't want it. I'm the empty shell,,,you are the empty shell ...scattered along in different places...both living and both dying...how cataclysmic things could be universalized, though still the choice to do it alone..washing our way back home..to the beginning of the end or the end of the beginning....indulging in the death would be easy...but when was easy ever an option...

[Perdition]

Ya know suicide is not always meant as the literal death of the body...sometimes killing off what is no longer needed is the beginning and thus the title which who knows where to go from here...but it does feel like a suicide of sorts. Easy is never an option in my regard...As rupi kaur put it, "I crave goddamn difficult". But glad to know you take it personally. Now who are you to say you don't want it? That's something you should know by now...You're the Queen, Crippled or not... I prefer to choose not. Now how's that homework going?

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

I have started it is interesting to say the least....but man i wanna know what he looks like under all that hair and beard.lol

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

Wait...didnt this thing have a title? Omg Jo are you the scarlet letter...poison of the un poison...carrier of the illusion that things done are undone...the last great sin eater son???? Oh, no wait...where was I going...your just Joe...the bath salt soaker wine drinking lover of poetry and driving people mad with the edits to these perfectly great pieces!

[Perdition]

Alright...WHERE ARE THE CAMERAS?? WHERE ARE THEY??? Yes it did and does have a title ..say the word and i'll change it to Pudding on a stick or Sin Eater Son...I love that line. Poison of the un poison? Really? You've been eating cracker jacks mixed into meatloaf again haven't you? Well SHARE d****t! And yes I am.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

Just change it to WIP ITU and Ive known you for a million unchanging years. you know I can't eat cracker jacks with no teeth...it's a special blend of Cheetos dust:) I know you are but what am I !

[Perdition]

Nope..Ewwwwwwwww. I in troubles!!..lol. Just let it settle and I'm working on another one so when that last gasping leaf has hurdled to the ground and the sad drunken wasp of summer has given up as he stumbles across the carpet...THEN perhaps I will consider another title. Till then..well if I don't know who I am..then who will I become ? :p

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

the sin eater son...you weren't listening:)

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

You see here I am again and I like it better now..a lil less poetry, a lil more Prophesy...

[Perdition]

Well praise to the Simba for the helpful critique and praise for your input as well. We are all about the learning and ...yeah I'll shut up now. lol.Thanks!

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

the community needs leaders...just doing my part and all.....oops

[Perdition]

Course it does, and you have to chose the worthy students I understand...lol. i appreciate your attention as I know it brings some pretty great writers right along with...and oops was already known.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

You have always been the teacher and I just like fascinating people who can express themselves and make me laugh and cry and scream...ya know who try ;P

[Perdition]

Well I'll be damned if I going to sit here and take part in a kissy contest! ;) Thanks but if you now very well if you don't leave everything you have on the page then what reason does the muse have not to move on? By the way have you seen my self respect or loathing...I had them both just a minute ago?? ;P

[Perdition]

"know very well

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

you can buy them on Amazon now...ya know if you need a new pair...

[Perdition]

Nah...I seem to write a whole lot better without them..but thanks for the tip. Just have to figure out what the hell is Amazon now..lol. and joking all the way.

[Simone Davis]

I love this however I seem to find my self saying this a lot but I'm going to say it with no disrespect, I found sometimes you might not need all the words example when you speak of suicide, get rid of the maybe and it stills reads as though the reader is contemplating but adds that edgesness and a sense of wanting to know more an intensity. Sorry not be critical at all just. I hope this is ok today say.

[Perdition]

Of course..most perfectly okay. Sorta why we are all here right? I'll give it another reading and definitely think on it over and over and over...lol.Sorta what I do when it comes to the poem.. Thanks for the advice and solid critique simba. For now I'm letting this night breathe. Wine be calling....have a great night!

[θεά]

Suicide is never an option. I wouldn't even call it an easy exit. It is dastardly squandering of a gift of life. Good times are transient. So are bad times. What endures is human spirit, no matter how abysmal may the situation be.

Your choice of words is artistic. A beautiful flow and the dialogism between surface currents and deeper ripples between your words is evident. An emotionally written piece, Tahsin.

Cheers,
M.

[Perdition]

Whole heartedly agree with you but suicides keep on still and the psychology as well as that "easy out" moment does exist. These sufferers from depression simply make up their minds and they begin to smile again knowing that they have decided. Such a tragic thing to reach out and find that point or to know that person intimitely that has committed such a final act and to never have known th they were screaming ...thank you so much for your visit and for your kind words M.

[¿]

Untitled is a title itself....as "untitleds" are alive so "titleds" could survive...
"I know my soul must disagree" well, hardly it agrees ;)
I've always wondered what pressure level it needs to finalise to suicide! I guess more that this dainty mind can feel....

[Perdition]

I apologize, I probably should have made it made it more clear that "Untitled for Now" 9s the title..Wonderful to hear from you again Tahsin, This was the result of me spending WAT too much time reading Anne Sexton. Thanks!

[Perdition]

*is the title

[¿]

That's me silly, couldn't grasp that "Untitled for now" is actually the title! :D Anne then made a good impact.. you're welcome! :)

[Perdition]

Oh come on Tahsin..You are the one that pointed out that it IS a title so you not only grasped it ...you commented on it as well. And stop insulting yourself...The person you're insulting happens to be a good friend of mine..smiles :)

[¿]

😁😁😁...Alrighty....Great me! **smiles**

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

under lily pad and grass..

[Perdition]

Turn a shade of frog?

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

nope just swimming along in my duck float revealing in the snarls of pond...

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

I shall return again and again...maybe..or maybe not...but more than likely so...

[Perdition]

As you please..if I'm not here I'll be cast into sorts.

[Gypsy Warrior Queen]

I'm always here and been everything but cast..

[Perdition]

lol...this much is true...