The Sun Burned Sky

In harrowing early spring
Nightly wealth of orbs warm star
Comes pale 
Nocturnal monarchy
Unseen
Twilit Moon
Blood paled eyes
Ballabile

I clasp the droplets
White armed
In onus of lined luminaries
The dawn
A sorrowful Orion
Assassin of Grecian Night
Now aligned with arrows assuaged
Anger watches over 
In dark of nightly sky
Of Gaia freed weapon
The Scorpio lies
Eternal war
Artisan in flight
And though I wish it well
I aim into its heart 
And with Leo
Nearly in sight
I thrust with a knowledge
Frigidity in taste 
That I too will watch
In light
Its rising fate

Reviews

[FREE_BIRD]

nice reading...and you know i love you every poem.
and simply i login to read yours first on my tip

[Perdition]

I do ..I does..lol..Thanks!
In case I don't say it enough, you know, me being deep in the claws of the night moors and all but I do so appreciate your input..As always.

[FREE_BIRD]

thanks looking forward off your more word to read
and always like to appreciate
means i am not fool of reading you
get my point hope so
keep writting
looking forward for your pieces

[Brittany Zedalis]

I know this is probably a work in progress, as yours usually are, but I really enjoyed it as it is presently. I absolutely adore the references to Orion, Leo, etc. They made me love this poem even more so. ^-^

[Perdition]

It is that time of year isn't it. No more Orion…stupid late hours…lol. Only the Luna C and the eternal chase. I have another addition but I'm saving this one here just to remind me of a few things so in honor of the crazy moon I won't touch it…except maybe for ahhh…. : )

[Perdition]

Or is it uhhhh… I mean this isn't the dentist's office right?

[Brittany Zedalis]

xD This is definitely not the dentist's office.

[Perdition]

Well it sure feels like it sometimes~

[Alisa Js]

Hello from across the way,

You wanted my honest opinion and here it is. Although your lines are beautiful and very descriptive, the first stanza to me feel fragmented and not fleshed out, as it were, into a more cohesive thought, consistent with the theme of this poem.

The second stanza has more content and develops the subject of the piece, painting with an emotional brush across the mind's eye as this reader read through and ties in nicely with your title.

I trust all is well.

Alisa

[Perdition]

Ahhhh..honesty..even when misplaced, don't you just love the sound of it. I must admit this is not the final poem but I do disagree on several terms all of which being that I'm rubber and you're glue : ) No seriously. thank you for what I believe must have been a hard gift for you. Seriously.. and as for all is well …well, all is all and that IS always well to the dreams of a dreamer as well you know; appreciate it and I will look at the final draft and see if you are still glue…soon as I am able to unstick my hands from your review…lol…ciao H.

[Alisa Js]

Hmmmm...I don't exactly follow nor comprehend the..."even when misplaced" part of your comment...😳 facetious bit of snide! Perhaps? Not exactly sure...

I am certain of one thing, however...and that is when you are done with it...the final draft, as it were...this one will be no less stunning than the rest of your work ...but then again, you already knew that...

Or..am I merely psychic?

All is a twilight zone on this part of the Pacific...one morning when I looked out, there were two more 🐔🐔....and a few days later, the original one 🐔 simply vanished...after one of the 🐶's got out...so very weird..beyond words...

Will check back for updates and revisions on this one.

Over and out from this part of the planet🌅

Alisa💫

I know...old news...

[Alisa Js]

The " I know, old news " part of my comments is supposed to be after the "you already knew that" part...

...see what I mean about being in .."Twilight Zone" part of my comment? And that's only a micro- part......

[Perdition]

We have been friends the better part of a decade plus here and then before here…I think I got ya…lol. In honesty though this is probably one of the best poems I have ever written but the reader is always correct so in this case the interpretation….a great story in celestial mythology will have to be put to the back to the value of the reader and I do not know if I am willing to do that with this one. I am open to the idea that it may not read as well for whatever reason but I have walked the walls with this one and it has passed the point of my ability to increase so perhaps with time it will have to remain the lost chicken….That is weird! I'll think on that one and thanks as always~

[Alisa Js]

Hello again from across the way,

It could very well be the strange universal vibes ive been exposed to recently with appearing and disappearing animals which is beyond bizarre...with no logical explanation. One more disappeared yesterday morning...and yet, by nightfall...two of them were in the yard.

This neighborhood is not one for these types of life forms, as it is a suburb and not farm land in the outback...

And that's just the tip of the iceberg...


I say all that to say this, it's most likely me...as I have not really written anything half-way decent lately...I have posted, then took them off.

Perhaps, once I get back to earth's orbit..I will return. I think I'm currently in a parallel universe, somewhere...co-existing, if that.


Alisa😱

[Perdition]

Oh stop it! You're killing the animals man!! ..lol. Don't ever go back on a good review…It's Not you…it's just not me :P

[Alisa Js]

😛. It's totally bizarre...and I have no clue.

Last night it was eerily quiet next door...to this morning, even. Something is missing, I think> 🐶🐶🐶🐶🐶.


..🐔🐔 are in the yard....this morning...along with the little🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦 waiting by the bird feeder

I am quite certain 🐔🐔 don't magically appear...yet these two did before the other one vanished a few days after. I have searched everywhere..no sign of the original one, anywhere😱

[Emily B]

so very beautiful, like a shooting star, glad I didn't miss it